And Then There Was You

Part 3

A single bulb lit the small bathroom, sometimes swinging ever so slightly, affecting the shadows of objects and people, but it was a small detail that Baekhyun never fully committed to addressing.

Squeezing the sponge as he gently rubbed it against Kyungsoo's back, Baekhyun watched as the boy gave a light push to the floating toy boat near him. More often than not, Kyungsoo would be slightly more talkative during the evening before eventually winding down around his bedtime, but even the questions runnings through his little mind was apparent to Baekhyun.

"I know you have questions, honey... You can ask them if you want," Baekhyun said softly, eyeing Kyungsoo's body language with his full attention.

It took some time, but Baekhyun remained patient. Ever so slightly, he felt the six year old's body tense, as if he was hesitantly to ask a question that was bothering him the most. Then, after Baekhyun called his name, Kyungsoo turned his head to look back behind him, making eye contact with the only parent he had ever known.

"Is he my father?"

The words came right to the point, and Baekhyun could feel a rush of fear run throughout his entire body. There were too many things to explain. His relationship with Chanyeol was complicated and murky, not to mention the fact that the man didn't know he even had a son and that Baekhyun had kept it a secret all this time.

But it was justified. It wasn't like Chanyeol was fit to be a parent at the time. He wasn't even fit to have a stable relationship with anybody...

How could he explain it to the six year old who was staring at him for answers? Baekhyun had always kept the subject of Kyungsoo's other father at bay and, without questions, the child never prodded questions about it. Maybe he got the sense that his dad had no intentions of ever speaking about his former flame (Kyungsoo was observant).

For years he had feared this moment, never truly preparing for when it could happen--partially due to stupid ignorance and wishful thinking. It was unrealistic to think that Kyungsoo would never ask or inquire why he only had one parent and not two despite the fact that many of the other children in town had just that. In fact, it was only a matter of time.

Swallowing his pride was the hardest thing to do, even in their situation. Baekhyun took in a deep breath and let it out slowly as he began to answer the question he had long avoided for the past six years.

"Yes..." His voice trailed off and paused for a moment before starting again. "But he doesn't know that."

"Why is he here now?"

Baekhyun stopped. It was though Kyungsoo was asking where Chanyeol had been for the last half decade. The feeling in his chest tore at him. "He's visiting his parents and his sister, Aunt Yoora."

"Why not us?"

"Because we're not his family, baby," Baekhyun said, almost forcing the words out of his mouth. He massaged the sponge on Kyungsoo's back in a soothing manner. "He's not...aware of us."

"But he's my dad." Kyungsoo's voice gave that hint that the six year old felt hurt by what he didn't understand. He tried to hide it, but being that he was a child, Baekhyun could hear it in his feeble voice.

"Soo, it's not like that." Biting his bottom lip, Baekhyun made the decision to stop what he was doing and lift the boy up to turn him around to face him. "He doesn't know he has a son. It's not his fault... It's not yours, either. It's mine. I never told him about you, because... because your father wasn't ready at the time. He wasn't prepared to have a perfect boy like you, and I didn't want you to grow up with that."