A Muslim's Past [COMPLETED]

Chapter 11

Amrah's POV

I came downstairs. I had planned to meet Hasnain in Starbucks at 2PM and I needed to get ready. I did feel bad for lying to my mum. But we weren't doing anything wrong right? We were just meeting up to discuss university stuff and it was in public. I felt like I was just convincing myself. I kissed my mum before I left to wait at the bus stop. I wasn't waiting long before it came. I reached town quite quick and sat at the table in Starbucks.

My eyes were so fixed on my phone that I didn't even notice Hasnain until he tapped the table and I jumped. He raised his eyebrows. I really was an idiot. We started talking about what we came here for. Somewhere in the middle of the conversation I decided to ask him about what to do in regards with my family.

"You're religious right?" I asked him. He seemed startled to say the least.

"Um... that's subjective." I could tell he was feeling a bit uncomfortable. I wonder why that was.

"I have a question to ask you."

"Go ahead. I will try to help you if I can."

"What would you do if your family weren't good people?"

"What do you mean 'good people'? I don't understand the question." He seemed a bit confused.

"Like, what would you do if you found out that your family hated you?"

"Um... I don't think family can ever hate on each other. Look, Amrah. People make mistakes. Everyone does. Just as we wish Allah Ta'ala to forgive us, we should forgive others. Family is a tie you cannot break. Regardless of how badly they treat you. Remember Allah Ta'ala isn't going to judge you on their sins but on your own. Besides you never know the full story, these days words can be twisted and reality can be warped. I'm sure your family do not hate you. I assume that's why you're asking anyway. Even if they did, it is up to to uphold ties regardless."

I sighed. He was right. Why was this guy so perfect? I couldn't imagine him ever making a mistake.

Hasnain's POV

Amrah was weird. That's all I thought as I watched her walk out of Starbucks. She asked some strange questions. I shook my head. I had something to do and I wasn't going to delay it any sooner.

When I reached home, I went to my bedside drawer. And picked up the phone I had bought to call back home to Canada. I had to buy an emergency one when my actual one had got stolen. It still made me angry thinking about it. The money I had spent on replacing everything. I knew it was covered by home insurance but to think someone was using my stuff made me mad.

I looked at the number written on the piece of paper. My cousin had managed to get a hold of it for me. I didn't think my brother would be too happy that I was doing this, but I had to. I wouldn't be able to let go otherwise.

I held my breath as the phone rang. Eventually she picked up and said hello. Her voice was easily recognisable. The same as it had been all those years ago. I took a deep breath and spoke,

"Hello Hannah. It's me, Hasnain." There was a pause and no one said anything.

"You're in England," she suddenly said. Really? That's what she wanted to say to me.

"How do you know I'm in England?"

"I can see the number you know." I didn't say anything and neither did she. I had planned this to the word. But now everything had gone out of the window. I didn't need to speak because she started talking.

"Look, Hasnain. I don't want your excuses. Nothing you can say will ever make me forgive you. Your family down here go on about how you're this amazing person now. But you're not. You're despicable. You're not worth it. I was your puppet and you messed up my life. You left me in the worst of times because you could. You actually ran away to Pakistan. Who does that? You really think that just because it's been a few years that I'd have forgot about it. No, I haven't forgot and I never will. I spent my days and nights crying, you used me and manipulated me. It's sickening how your family can still stand you. But I know your family. They'll always stand by you, but I know your true colours. I didn't have any of that. or did you completely forget whilst you were fucking some other girl? I lost my child and you know what, I'm glad you lost your mother."

The line went dead. I didn't know what to say. It was like someone had cut me open and ripped my heart out. Hannah, how could Hannah say all these things? Had I really turned such a sweet innocent girl into this monster?

- Start flashback -

Her blonde hair was splayed across the pillow. I was lying next to her and watching her as she spoke. She really was beautiful. Before I realised my fingers were tracing her lips. I was trying to listen to what she was saying but I really wanted her to stop talking.

"You know if you ever want to talk about your mother then I'll always be here for you. You don't need to keep it in."

I was annoyed, but I kept my mouth shut. I needed her. I smiled at her and leaned in towards her.

- End flashback -

What was I supposed to do now? Hannah had shut me off. My head was spinning. I didn't think I could let go if it ever. The sins that I had committed were worth a thousand punishments. How could I ever start over?