surrender. | michael clifford

part one.

trigger warning: this book contains topics such as rape and abuse, drugs, sex, etc. so if you're not comfortable reading about those topics, i'll make sure to put "trigger warning" before every chapter & what it contains <3

The bell signalling the end of the school day chimed through my ears, snapping me out of my daydream.

The bell ringing brought on the realization of what tonight is and it honestly hit me like a ton of bricks. After a whole year, I have agreed to finally leave my room and go to a party.

No, that isn't because I'm socially awkward or want to be relatable by saying "I would rather stay home and have a date with my bed."

For any other teenager, parties are a rite of passage. My view on parties used to be just like everyone else's. I thought they were what made you cool, and that by attending them, I would be made someone. I would be reinvented.

I realized that was foolish.

As you can imagine, my friends and I had tried our hardest to be considered popular, and nothing could get in our way. Drinking, doing drugs, having sex, anything. Nothing was off limits for us.

One night I had a little too much booze, a little too many drugs in my system, and a brain that didn't have correct judgment. This resulted in me being taken advantage of.

In all honesty, I was a wreck after that. I blamed myself, blamed my friends, blamed the boy, blamed my parents... I just needed a reason as to why someone would think doing that to me was okay.

Now, I've tried my best to move on. Some nights I lay in bed and cry about it. Some nights I think I'm dumb for making it such a big deal. Either way I think of myself as overdramatic and useless.

Right after I exited my class, a hand latched onto my arm and I was pulled out of the main hallway to a side hallway where my locker was. I was anxious as to who was pulling me, but I wave of relief hit me as I realized it was my best friend, Jess. She's the only one who stuck with me after the incident.  Unfortunately for me, Jess was also the one who was forcing me out tonight.

"Are you excited for tonight?" Jess asked, happiness laced through her voice.

"You already know the answer to that question," I replied, rolling my eyes as I put the combination to my lock in. I felt bad because Jess was excited to have me come out with her like old times, but it wasn't fair that it was obligatory for me to go when she was aware of the situation.

She sighed, "Chlo, you can't hide forever."

"I'm perfectly okay with it," I snapped back, closing my locker.

We made our way to her car as we hopped in. I pulled down the overhead mirror and evaluated my face. My long brunette hair cascaded past my shoulders and landed just above my hips. I have bright blue eyes, and a nose ring I got when I was fifteen to piss off my mom.

"I'm going to pick you up at 9, okay?" Jess said, pulling me out of my trance.

"Why so early?" The parties we went to usually didn't start until at least eleven.

"We're going to Luke's fraternity's house, and you know how long it takes to get there. Plus, it's Friday night so there might be a lot of traffic," she replied.

"You better not ditch me for Luke all night," I said as I slid out of the car, closing my door and making my way over to the driver's side.

Jess rolled down her window to answer me, "you know I won't. Now go get ready!"

"It's only 3," I said, feeling confused.