WELL, I'M NOT DEAD, I CERTAINLY PUT THE PRO IN PROCRASTINATE
-----
Everyday you worked this job, it was, wake up, kill, eat, sleep, rinse and repeat. There was an occasional cease fire but that was rare. Today was no different, you did your mission, made dinner, and ate at the table with the others. You went out tonight with others as they wanted to make a campfire and and do campfire-y things. Demo had been telling spooky tales from his past.
"And so then aye set the explosives and KABLOOIE! The whole an me family were gone." They laughed as the stories of the loch Ness monster came to an end. "Hey (y/n), have I told ye about the Christian brutal sniper? An doont let his name put ye off." You shook your head as others fell silent upon the mention of the mass murder; they wore grim, pale faces. You dug into your s'mores as he readied himself with the story.
"He's a fearsome man, taller than Misha himself, no one has dare cross him as his past made him stronger than us all combined. He wields blades only as he prefers the blood shed and genocide. He wears a black beard and red eyes like they were burned into him, his smile will curdle milk. He bares black clothing and a biohazard insignia as he is a bio weapon of mass destruction. Beware, as he is as real as me eye." He sat back as you tried not to laugh.
"That's a good story n all but it sounds faker than eyelashes I see on Chica's at the mall." He looked serious by the fire light.
"Doont say I warned ye." You laughed and announced your lethargy and went off to bed, little did you know, soldier, who hated you more than Russia, had a date with merasmus to prove the sniper existed.
Later that night, soldier wandered off into the forest and met up with merasmus.
"You want me to do what? That's cruel of you soldier, you kill my roommate and then expect me to do this? "
"She's a commie, I know it, plus she never believed one of demos stories he told her. " merasmus gasped in disbelief as he flipped through one of his books.
"CORPORUM TRANSISTUM"
----
You woke up, unaware of your new surroundings and stood up to go get yourself caffenated tea. You stopped once you realized, you're..... taller? You looked at yourself and found you were in a black t shirt sporting the biohazard and boxers. No.... this must be a dream. You looked around the room and found it was unrecognizable.
You walked over to the door and peeked outside to find the kitchen wasn't all that far. You looked around the house to find a second bedroom which was unoccupied, thankfully. It looked much cleaner than the one you exited, by a landslide. You smelled coffee which allure you to the kitchen.
"Good morning sniper, 'ou're up early. Rolled off the bed again." You had to muster up something, or tell him what's going on and hoping this isn't a dream, you got ballsy.
"Yea." Short n sweet as you trudged over to the coffee maker. Spy handed over a mug of coffee and you happily took a sip. Ewwwwww, it's black coffee, you did your best to not show disgust bit failed miserably.
"Ou ok sniper? You don't seem yourself. " You sighed and put down the cup and asked for sugar or creamer.
"Listen spoi, I'm not me, but I'm me at the same time. It's confusing I haven't put it together yet." The man in the white suit cocked an eyebrow. "Listen, it's hard to explain, but this isn't moi body, I'm someone else in this body." He had an 'ooooh' face.
"Magic is cruel. We must find your body as well as my friends before he wreaks havoc."
---- (SNIPER POV)
Blehhh, morning breath, tastes like I haven't brushed my teeth in ages. This bed is also uncomfortable, damn mattress. I punched the pillow a bit which fixed it only enough to my liking. I rolled onto my stomach which something was under me. I went to pull it out which nothing was grabbed. I felt on my chest........ my chest............. boobs. I nearly shrieked as I sat up seeing i had a bra, tank top, and shorts. Wait.....
I peeked into my panties as my face went brighter than pyros suit. "I'm..... I'm.....-"
"Breakfast is ready, darlin!" That voice, the engineer. Flash backs of him being beaten by engies wrench made him furious, unnerving. He got up, thank goodness I was quiet cause I fell off the bed again. "You alright? " engineer knocked on the door. Play it cool, oh dear.
"Be right out!" He listened to the footsteps retreat down a fight off stairs as you had your bedroom in the attic. Cmon Richard, you got this, just find "you" and I'll find "me". -Sigh-.
You went downstairs and headed for the coffee machine, hopefully you drank coffee. You poured yourself a mug of coffee as everyone stared at you in confusion that you didn't just drink coffee, but drank it black too.
You normally drank tea as you were allergic to cocoa, which he found out VERY fast. You started to feel your throat closing as medic went to get an Epi Pen. He set the mug down as he suffocated until he felt a prick and he could breathe almost immediately.
"Forgot your allergies? " He gave a bath of laughter as he gave a quick thanks. You got some caffeine in your system, but you weren't energized as usual.
(YOUR POV)
You arrived at your fort but had to take a long way round to the window of your room. You climbed up multiple stories. You got inside and noticed a you in shock sitting on the bed..... with a body of medic on the floor. Dammit sniper, you could've held back your fear of needles till later.
You jumped down from the window as sniper looked over to you and spy. "Spy, uhhhh, you! What the bloody hell is going on? The entire team is dead down there and now i-you-me, Looks bad, I have a vagina and I'm on my period I think, and you look exactly like me!"
You face palmed. "Sniper, magic is behind this all." You all thought about who could be behind this until you pointed out soldier hates you with a burning passion. "Merasmus." Spy said under his breath.
You all ran out into the woods. You stopped and looked at yourself in a pond as you were lost and the other two were fighting which way to go. Crimson red eyes and a small beard. You looked at your teeth and they looked like an animal gave you replacements. You sighed, wondering what you did to deserve this.
All up until you heard your team shouting your name and promising that if you surrender, you won't be hurt. Dammit, my team turned against me now. But this guy is you occupied is damn cute. You looked over to see the other two running off, as you chased them, you heard a shotgun cocked and loaded behind you.
"Put yer damn hands up mister. "
"Engie I can explain."
"One more word and I shoot, son."
That's it, you were done, soldier you niglet. You felt the sides of your sleeve be heavier than normal and you slung out the what ever it was and found out you stuck a knife in the skull of the southerner like it was butter. You stood in awe as you ran off, taking the knife with you.
----- "Sheila, you're gonna have to either somehow explain to them without dying what's going on or stick with us once we're normal again." You nodded.
You stood in front of merasmus' living area.
"Here goes nothing."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
