Sassy ☼ Yoonmin

IT'S OKAY TO CRY

Yoongi's POV

—How long has it been since I've felt this hurt? I don't even remember anymore, maybe when I had to man up and stand up to my father for my mom's sake? Well, not even. I don't even think I was in this much pain back then.

I always thought that it would be me the one to hurt and break Jimin by doing stupid things, he was too accepting, I always felt that it was me who wasn't enough for him, I was the one lacking. I was the screwed up one in the relationship. I was the one who would fuck it up, not him.

I should have listened to Jungkook, good kids don't fall in love with the bad ones. They fall in love with the good ones like themselves.

I thought I was enough, what was my mistake? Why did he go to him?

But to be honest, I'm not upset because he found comfort in someone else's arms, I'm just sad because he didn't trust me enough to tell me my mistakes and how to fix them.

I was happy and I thought he was too, until the morning after the most incredible night of my life made me realize that he wasn't.

I shouldn't have tried turning his phone off that morning.

I shouldn't have been curious of who was texting him that early in the morning.

I should have just ignored it and gone back to sleep.

So many 'shouldn't have's'.

I shouldn't have gone through his phone, and I certainly should not have read what wasn't supposed to be read by me.

Then again, if I wouldn't have done it, I would have never found out of how he was feeling.

Our relationship was nothing but a lie.

Those texts he sent to him, they should have been sent to me.

He should have texted me and talked to me about what I was doing wrong, not him.

I should be angry at him right? But for some reason, I'm not.

I don't want to talk to him, but I don't have the heart to properly break up with him.

I really did love him, I did. I still do.

But if he's not happy, then what can I do?

He's nice.

And smart.

He's a good person.

He deserves someone that will make him happy and if that person happens to be Taemin, then so be it.

I can't and won't keep him from doing so. That's the least I can do.

The large amount of guilt, anger and sadness makes me feel like I'm drowning.

I wish I had someone to talk to, but none of my friends would understand and even if I did tell them, they would just say to move on.

I don't want someone to scold me, or advice me.

I just want someone to listen.

After spending my birthday with Jungkook, we met with Namjoon and hung out for a bit.

I excused myself and said I was tired and that I also had to take care of my mother.

When I arrived home, I checked up on her and found her peacefully sleeping in her bed.

I decided that taking a shower would eventually help me relax for a little bit, and also, take away the scent of Jimin's bed.

I opened the bathroom door, realizing that the door knob needed to be replaced, again.

I sighed, closing it anyways and turning on the shower. Staring at myself in the mirror, I notice the small red marks on my body, a reminder of the previous night which was supposed to be an unforgettable night, and it was, but not in the way that I wished it would be.

The tears threatened to fall, I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed to god they'd go away. I bit my lip harshly, hoping that it would keep me from crying.

I'm not weak.

I'm not going to let this —him, break me.

I can't break.

My mom needs me, and if I break, she'll break too.

I can't let it happen.

I sniffled away the snot running down my nose, and took deep breaths.

Turning away from the mirror, I stretched my arm out to feel the water. At last, I get in, and let the warm water wash away my feelings.

-

After taking a shower and getting dressed, I headed to my bedroom, and dropped myself on the bed.

I closed my eyes and the heartbreak sinks in.

I remind myself that it is okay to cry, and finally allow myself to break down.

Note: This is poorly written, and short compared to what I usually write. But I think it tells a lot about what's happening and how Yoongi is feeling about the situation.

Don't forget to comment or whatever!

I love u all ❤