Porcelain |Breaking Dawn Pt.2 Fanfic| HEAVY EDITING

The Pain

I didn't sleep that night.
Partially because I didn't need it, but also because I couldn't get myself to reach any sort of fatigue with the constant reminder of what will be.

Benjamin, being by my side as much as possible, was concerned for me. I stood out on the balcony of my small bedroom in the Cullen home. His cold hand, one that soothed my aching body, was placed on my smaller hand which gripped the railing lightly.

I was terrified. Not so much for myself, but for the people here.
I, Natalya Miniati, was terrified. The girl who conquered millions, was courageous, had beauty that could make any woman jealous, the strength to take down anyone, all of it.

"Darling, are you not well?"
My fingers fiddled in between his,
"Today is the day, My Love. Our fates our tied to this moment of truth." Heaving my breath as I spoke.
I felt inhaling oxygen made me calm. The idea of being Human, was something I was in love with. In a Platonic way, of course. Symbolically.

"Be not fearful, for I, know that truth is evident, and all shall be revealed."

"Benjamin..do you feel that God exists? And if so..is it possible that he could forgive someone like me? Do I still have a soul? Was I ever graced with an internal presence like such?" My mind wandered. If I do die, for the sake of my loved ones, what will become of me?

"Natalya, I will perish in your place before I allow that to happen. I put my being on the line for you, Darling." His deep red eyes, meeting mine of Golden brown.

"And what of the Shapeshifter? He has desire for me, Benjamin. And if I perish? You both shall live in darkness." Benjamin's eyebrows furrow at my response, which in turn he replies,
"Who's to say your his mate? You're mine and mine alone. There must be something urging himself towards you."

My lips give a faint smile, Benjamin was in fact the jealous type. Nothing crazy, but enough to know he isn't one for sharing. "...What if, the Volturi know?"
The tension fills the air as he goes stoic. "Aro could have the answer to our triangle of love?" He scoffs, "that man would rather make me a member of his guard and you as well. Who knows? Because of your gifts he could take out whole covens."
Ben seethes, "Maybe even make you That wretched Jane's brothers' bride. Or worse."
I look at him and widen my eyes, lightly smacking his arm, "Don't think such things. Aro may be a being of absolute disgust in my opinion, but he is the Law around here."

"Then let's run away together." He whispers, as if all that mattered in the world was us. Just us.
My chest tightens, "What of our families?"  I abruptly unravel myself from him, my pale hands reach toward my cheeks.
"We can't just..just leave!"
"I-I know that Lya but the future for us? We are hunted-" My anger grows, lashing out my words through gritted teeth.
"No! We are not. I have slipped through Aro's grasp for years. I can do just the same for you. I am staying for the Cullen's. Didn't you once say you will fight for them?"

"You and I both know if you fight for them, who's to say you don't end up killing yourself in the process?" Benjamin reprimands me.

My eyes, if they could water, they would. "I'm doing this for us!" Eyebrows furrowed with my arms shaking with anger.

"Natalya, Please-"

"No, Benjamin! No!" My voice made the very house tremble. "How can you say that?!"

Backed away with quake in my step, his eyes filled with hurt and sympathy. "Darling I didn't mean it like that, please." Begged my Egyptian Lover.
Edward burst through the door behind us, Carlisle behind him.
"Natalya...Calm down." Carlisle soothed stepping towards me, Benjamin growled at his approach.

"This isn't your business."
Edward stepped up as Benjamin's hard gaze was on Carlisle, his anger getting the best of him.
"Benjamin. Stop. We aren't your enemy."
My fingers reached for Benjamin's shoulder,
"Look at me," His eyes didn't turn away, "Benjamin."

Reeling his gaze towards me, If Jasper was here, he'd handle the emotional waves I was feeling. But today, I'll just have to do.

He eases at my touch, soothing his stoic body, his face relaxes. "I-I'm so sorry.." My body was still rigid beyond belief. I could feel the burning under my skin crawling it way up. I was upset and that was something I couldn't hide.
How could he say things like that? Just leaving these people to die? I would gladly throw myself before Carlisle before I date let anything happen to him
A friend til the end is what I plan to be no matter what may become of me. This family has a future, one I would gladly throw mine away for theirs to live.

He's reckless. Benjamin is reckless and still seems so young. But his passion is impeccable and his love is unparalleled. That face could never keep me upset for long.
His eyes looks at me, he looked as if he was in pain, apologizing over and over to me. As if he was A bad dog caught doing something.
I guess we all feel a little on edge, I can't complain about the pain that'll come. I can't imagine the pain all of these people will go through eventually.

Am I even ready for that?

Am I really?

Edward and Carlisle share a look, meet my gaze and step out. I hold Benjamin's hands in my own.

"Control yourself. These are my friends and family." My lips made these words as my anger dissolved.
"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. There's nothing to be sorry for. Just don't throw out into tantrums when I state my love for the Cullen's and sacrifices I would make for them. They need me."
"But..." he trials off, his eyes downcast and meet mine again.
"I need you too."

"And you have me." I stated.
"You'll always have me..."