Kidnapping Shawn Mendes (COMPLETED)

Season 2 : Truth Spilling

Season 2

Chapter 8
Truth Spilling

Love has no bounds. No limits. It can be infinite. It could be the one that would make you go on. But it is almost everyone's downfall.

Because even how focused and well planned your life is, when love finds you, You'll lose your rationality. It could make you go crazy and do things you never thought you could.

Love goes round. Everything you do is because of love. Your emotions would consume you and crash your logic.

It is the biggest distraction everyone could experience.

I once proved it. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't love. I wouldn't have Trevor and pull an insane stunt if it wasn't love.

Our hearts are naturally wicked. But we just have to guard it to make sure we won't get hurt that easily. Because the more you get attached, the more you'll get hurt.

But love, sometimes, would make you realize what is your life worth. What do you deserve. Because sometimes, love isn't enough. You have to use your mind and think what is the best for you.

Being in love has no right and wrong. But when you realize that what are you fighting for is a losing battle, is dragging you down and controlling you.

You have to protect your own heart and shield it. Because it can't take a lot of pain. Sure, someone will say, you don't understand me. I love him and I'll do everything even if it hurts. I also said the same thing. But honestly, our heart can't  take so much pain. It would eventually get tired and that's when you realize that you're already giving up.

Because being in love, you shouldn't be suffering, you shouldn't get hurt.

That's why even how much I loved him, I still chose to save myself. Because I don't deserve to be the second best. I don't deserve to beg for love.

"Yeah," I mumbled and looked at him. "What about?"

He sat beside me and heaved a deep breath. "It's been a while," He started. "How are you?"

"I'm.. fine."

"That's... good to hear." He paused. "What happened?"

I knew this time would come. That we both need to talk about things. But I never thought it would come this early.

"What happened to?" I asked back.

"Us," He said and looked at me. My heart started to race inside my chest like it always does whenever he touches me or just when he's near. "After I told you everything, I expected us.. after what happened that last night. Why did I woke up in my apartment?" His eyes were soft and looks so fragile.

"I couldn't find you. I don't know how to contact you. Bettina won't tell me where you are," My heart ache the way I can see the longing in his eyes. I never thought I would see them.

He held my hand. "Why did you ran away?"

I closed my eyes for a brief moment.

I wasn't expecting this. All I was thinking that he would ask me about Trevor. But why is he telling me these things?

I already healed myself. I moved on. But why is he dragging me down again?

I smiled bitterly. "You were just drunk that time, Shawn. You don't know what you were saying." I replied and looked away.

"Dammit," He uttered. "I may be drunk that time, but clear as the sky I know what I'm saying. I still remember it until now."

I can feel my chest tightening. I don't want to get mad and ended up crying. Because I would always be sensitive when it comes to him.

"Yeah. Did you also remembered how you whispered that time that you love Lauren while you were.." I paused and gulped. "Fucking me?"

"What?" He spat. "Jesus, Tamara! That was called making love."

My breathing hitched and my world gone crazy. What the hell is he saying?

"I just.." He sighed. "Listen to me, aright? I want you to know everything,"

"I don't need to. And you don't need to explain anything to me." I respond and he stiffened.

"No. We wasted six years already and I won't let you slip away this time." He said with his authorative manure and he made me faced him.

"What I told you that night was true. I love Lauren, yes, but that's because I was used that she's around. And I haven't felt anything about her like that when she was introduced to me as my girlfriend," I was about to say something but he cut me off.

"Let me finish first, okay?" He asks and I nodded.

Damn. Why am I even agreeing to what he says?

"I love her as a sister. And when I finally remember things, I was grateful that you kidnapped me. Really. Your face the last time I saw you at the camp haunts me. I wasn't aware that time. You knew what happened to me, do you?"

"Yeah," I stutter.

"I wanted to make it up to you, I just wanted to say sorry but I'm scared I might frighten you. It was just too soon. I want to make things slow. But the time I told you everything, you sent me back and I couldn't understand in any aspect why." He lift up my chin and I was drowning with the emotions that I can see through his eyes. It was far different the way they looked the last time we were here in this island.

"Because I had too much," I said. "I can only take so much rejections, Shawn. And I couldn't live all my life begging for your love!" I yelled. My tears brimming at the edge of my eyes. No. Don't fall. Not this time.

"You don't need to," He pulled me closer. "I'm here. I want to make things right now," He puts his palms on my cheek and made me meet his eyes.

He wiped my tears with his thumb and smiled. "I love you, Tamara. I know this is long overdue but I love you anyway. From the very start."

I cried harder. This was the least thing I was expecting with this talk. All I think of is that he wants to get the right to spend time with Trevor, not this!

My heart is swelling with too much emotions.

He pulled me for a hug and I hugged him back. I was crying so hard I can feel my tears on his shirt.

"Then why are you still with Lauren?" I asked and pulled away from the hug.

He sighed. "I just can't leave her. She tried to cut her wrist when I said that I want us to happen. That I love you and I can't just leave her like that. She's like a family to me."

I calmed down and nodded slowly. I understand him. And I somehow feel bad for her. She was there for Shawn whenever.

"Now, I want to hear something." He says seriously. "Do you still love me?" He asks and I smiled wickedly.

"What?" He asked annoyed.

"Of course, Shawn. I always do and I always will." I said and he smiled.

"I want to hear it properly," He demands and I rolled my eyes.

"Baby," He called. Sounding pissed. My heart just jumped the way he called me baby. Dammit, Mendes!

I chuckled. "I love you, too, Shawn."

He smiled widely and leaned in to give me a kiss.