Water Child(Akatsuki no yona(Yona Of The Dawn) fanfic)

•36• Where do I belong?

..so, I'm back from the dead. Hi. Um let's get started with the story I have a loong readers note at the end if any of you guys want to read it.
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For the past few weeks I've been talking to Shin-ah on emotional and depressing levels. It seemed he was the only one that would talk to me about their past. I felt like I was nosy, which always gave me sick feelings but when I thought about it, it seemed a little different— I just need some advice on how to handle things.

I never got the chance to talk to Hak, Zeno made jokes out of the questions I asked, Jaeha was smoothly avoiding all the questions, Kija seemed to be super oblivious to everything and Yoon was, well, Yoon. The genius yelled at everything I asked with 'why would you think like that'.

So I tried to avoid being alone and having deep thoughts but my mind would always wander off no matter what and I found myself being caught up in a lot of difficult situations because of it. Like that one time, I got distracted while I was twirling one of my throwing knives. The sneaky little bugger flew out of my hands and I ended up dropping a wasp nest right on top of Kija! It took a lot of apologising on my behalf although Kija, swollen and full of tears, told me it was fine and reassured me that he was stronger than that. 

Mother Yoon, on the other hand, did not let me off the hook and took it upon himself to bring the Kija situation up everytime that I would accidentally walk into a tree. Oh jeez..

 I gripped the dagger in my hand and thrusted it into a nearby tree, I needed some way to cope and I needed to find it now! I couldn't keep putting others at risk and, more importantly, making Yoon mad just because I couldn't understand my own feelings! 

"Are you practicing too?" Yona laughed, a perfect and pretty smile grazing her features. 

I puffed my cheeks up, "Its nothing, in just throwing a temper tantrum."

Her laugh was airy and cute, "Is that so?" I crossed my legs as I stubbornly nodded, obediently placing my hands in my lap. The princess laughed again, tears in the corner of her eyes. Her violet orbs bore into my own sky blue eyes and -despite the undoubtable fact that she had somehow managed to see through my entire being- the princess asked, "and what are you so angry at?"

I sucked in a breath and sighed loudly, "Myself."

"Why is that?"

"I'm having bad thoughts."

"Oh my."

I blushed a deep shade of red, "Not like that!"

The princess giggled, "I see, don't worry I'm not misunderstanding anything."

"Oh my gosh, Yona!" I let out a strange noise as I tackled the giggling girl down onto the dirt. Even amongst all the dirt, her hair glistened beautifully. Yona had laughed so sweet and harmoniously that even the birds and dragons stopped to see. We childishly rolled around in the soil for a bit before I came up on top as the victor, my hands pinning hers down against the ground.

I huffed, "You don't understand me at all." Slowly, I loosened my hold on her before releasing her from underneath me.

She smiled, "Well, if I don't understand, you should explain it to me then." 

It was a known fact that Yona was beautiful, but each time she smiled I couldn't help but adore her and find myself lost in her very presence. She had the type of smile you'd feel satisfied by simply looking at it and her very existence was something that made me feel very comfortable.

I huffed again, "that's no fair, stop cheating."

Yona smiled, "am I cheating?"

"Yes."