midnight // love poems

hello

goodbye is so close I can smell it on your body and I can taste it in your lips
it tastes like regret
your body recoils on my touch like a touch-me-not plant and so I don't , instead I maintain a 20 cm distance that I've been told is what is safe for my eyes but it still feels too close because I can see each fleck in your eyes and each strand of your hair
and fuck safe for my eyes what about safe for my heart
it's almost as though your hands spell out proceed with caution, danger ahead
and I guess I was never good at following the rules, if I were, then we wouldn't be here today , this lost and this loved
you let out a sigh so from your breath in the air I spun poetry like a noose around my own neck until you left and now there's a vacuum and either way I cannot breathe
so I guess this is goodbye in a way I've never known before
it's real, it's heartbreaking, it's dew drops trickling down fresh flowers in the morning it's petals falling on warm soil and it's everything I know it's supposed to be
but it feels foreign
it feels like hands of a stranger on my thigh or lips of another on my mouth it feels wrong
it feels like this wasn't how it was supposed to end
like we weren't supposed to be saying goodbye
not tonight
not like this
not with so much hanging in the air
so many words left unspoken
not with mountains of magic left unexplored and with rivers of right where we haven't even gone
I guess you can't decide feelings but I will decide this
I chose you
And I choose you
And I will choose you until your face fades from my flowing mind like fields left in drought
I know you will not choose me
And that is fine
Because the sun and stars never did get along
separated by the passage of time
just like we have been for so long
so I am deciding
and I am choosing
to not say goodbye
instead I'll leave you with a promise
you owe me a kiss
and I'll see you in  the next eclipse