Everything felt numb and the liquor bottle never looked so appetizing, oh and SpongeBob was on the TV.
Yup, the dream life. You know it's funny to remember back when I was in school. Sure, I wasn't the popular, but I had someone to hang with or I'd force myself to start talking to someone. They always joked on how I could get everything and things were simpler for me. Joked on how I could go to other countries with Mom, since she did tours and helped missionaries in other countries. Joked on how Dad would buy me anything, for he was very wealthy and a kind man apparently.
Ya, they're jokes from peers and all, but I couldn't bring myself to oppose what they said. It brought attention to me and I loved the attention. When I didn't get the attention I always craved for, I would lie about something, mainly stories of what I got or went to from breaks and summers. I lied flat on the couch and tried to close my eyes.
I always lied. I knew it's horrible to lie and do it so often that I would lie without knowing it. Truth is, my mom never once brought me to another country, or even to another state. My dad, yeah, he bought me small things I asked for, but he wasn't kind. I mean, he was kind to people and me, but he always came to me and told me how much everyone bothers him. Since, I was the only kid in this small fam and my mom was always away. I was his only friend in a way. And when my mom was home, they argued. Argued forever it seemed until the divorce.
I chuckled, getting the naughty reference on SpongeBob. And my mom married a man in another country. Then there's my dad.
As I was his only friend, he was my only friend. It all went to utter crap for me two years ago, around when I was graduating. Some shit-psycho went way psychotic and was setting fire to the damn streets, it caught of brush and other things, which soon caught onto homes and other buildings. There only a few that actually got caught on fire, mainly nearby the house with that damn kid who started it. Unfortunately, I was a neighbor few doors down. My house had gotten caught and it was a blur to be honest. I'm not ready to remember it and relive that shit again.
Taking in a deep breath, I stared at the TV. "I really need to do something with myself," I murmured, lighting a cigarette. And please, for the love of God, don't start criticizing my actions of smoking, m'kay?
I'll be frank with ya, it's hard for me to get addicted to things ironical, even if I do it so much. I do crave liquor a lot of the time, it's starting to become a problem, but it's not craving like "I got to have it!" it's more like, "Well, maybe some, maybe?" It's like that with smoking, however, I don't smoke as much as I don't crave smoking either. So it wasn't really an addiction.
As I took the quick smoke, I kept on with my whirring thoughts that violently seemed to scream.
Bzz! My phone vibrated and I put the burning cigarette on the ash tray. A text from Amy.
Your coming with me to see the Dr. Reyes!!
"You're" I corrected silently.
No buts to it! BTW IM OUTSIDE!
"Couldn't have honked? Or even walked to the door, could ya?" I said to myself as I looked outside from the window. Well, she was here, in her van. I was already dressed in black slacks and a hoodie. This will do!
Walking to her car, she smiled back at me and yelled, "Get in the car!" Obeying, since I felt like I had no choice, I went in and she started to pull out of the driveway.
"I can already hear the question! No, he won't pay us, he's related to me and'll do it for free right now," Amy said, the first said since being in the car. I rolled my eyes and groaned in annoyance.
"What does he do basically?" I asked.
She smiled, "Well, since it'll be your first time there, he'll let you tell him what's bothering you and what you've been doing lately."
"Wait, what if nothing's bothering me and nothing's wrong and you're just a highly concerned buddy."
"(Y/n), I can tell when someone has some problems-,"
"I don't have problems!" I barked, unusually loud.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry. Lemme put it this way: I can tell when something's bothering someone, kay? All you do really is drink and stay home. You stopped going to work, I heard. You called in apparently and resigned."
I rolled my eyes again, now here comes that damn lecture on how I should live my own damned life.
"You were gone for a couple of days and from what I heard from your aunt. You came home really worried and asking her if the police had showed up."
Alright, it was a stupid move, but during that car ride with Toby driving my car. I was a worried mess and overthinking situations. "Okay, don't tell me anymore about myself, m'kay? Let's just go to that therapist."
*Time skipparoo*
"(Y/n), has anything been bothering you lately?" A tall and blonde haired man sat on a chair in front of mine asked.
"Some things?" I replied in more of an interrogative tone.
"Would you care to explain?"
"Uhh... Okay? So, lately my aunt has been a bit... depressed and I... uhh... Been getting into some fights, and....," I killed a man. "Uhh...," I liked the feeling of murder. "Well...Eh," I think I like a psychotic murderer. "I don't know." I think I really like him.
"Well, your aunt, tell me about her," he told me and I told him what he wanted to know about my dear aunt.
"Okay, what about when you said that you've been getting into fight?"
I chuckled then replied, "I got into this kick-ass fight with a drunk guy at that bar downtown."
"Language, please," Yup, this guy seemed like an asshole. So I gladly explained about that fight that got me kicked out of the bar for good. During the whole thing, I had Toby on my mind. The guy I'm pretty sure I like is on my mind more than my recent murder that he put me up to. Yup, this is the good life.
(Hope ya enjoyed! Leave a comment/like if ya want to! BTW, if I got any errors, please tell me!)
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Under Control (Ticci Toby X Reader)
Fanfiction(May contain sensitive topics) Things never went as plan as (Y/n) hoped. Her family had dissipated, leaving her with her solemn aunt. There, she was alone and liked it that way. When she had developed bad habits of drinking, she was falling into her...
