"Don't worry, everything's under control, Auntie," I sighed, gripping onto cardboard boxes and pushing them into the room. Auntie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Hey, am I really welcome here?" I looked over at my aunt who gave me a look full of pity.
"Of course you are," She forced a smile and her eyes lit up. "Now you should get unpacking, later on we're going to buy you some clothes and furniture. Meet me down stairs when you finish."
I smiled as I waved her off and closed the door. Yet, frowned as I rested my back against the door. I looked at the beautiful, empty and serene room. It had a huge window that took in all the natural light and tall, lively trees swayed and turned. I shuffled along the honey carpet. I kept my arms to myself and tried to look at myself with a narrow full-body mirror that hung by a nail on the wall. Studying myself, I slowly began to think of everything that has happened that month. I was going to be graduating so soon, in half a month. I slumped against the wall, still studying my image. I had all my funds to move out, start something of my own... They're all burnt now. Burnt in a small box under my old bed.
I flipped a small box open and saw the scattered items that were shoved messily in an unorderly fashion. I stared. Old letters that my father never sent, and empty, blank pages. There was however two Valentine's stuff animals that I knew my dad had and was about to send- yet, my mom finally revealed the affair. Frowning, I remember how heart broken he was. He didn't want anything to do with people. Pushed me away sometimes, but it didn't truly bother me. I knew he needed space.
Filing through the letters, I took out something metal. A lighter. I never knew what it was for. Just a lighter in a field of solemn letters.
I tossed the lighter back in the box and was about to push it away, until I heard a clink! I went to investigate it and to my surprise, it was a bottle of Jack Daniels. Only having an inch or less left in the bottle.
I grunted and let my head hit against the wall. What more could actually go wrong? I took the drink and gulped it, grimacing at the burning it gave out.
I hate flashbacks, too many memories at once. Like daggers stabbing repeatedly and trying to warn you, but they fault in any good and end up taking us down.
-_-
My limbs felt like weights and my head ached. I felt so... Hollow.
Like I was... Alive, but dead inside.
My eyes were heavy as I tried to get a clear looks at my surroundings- which, quite frankly, wasn't much. I was in the middle of an empty field of nothingness. It was a greyish-yellow field with matted weeds and brush. Very far in the distance bordered the field with a very unsettling forest with leafless trees.
Raising myself up, I sat glancing around I noticed a metal object. Grasping at it, I knew instantly. It was the same lighter from the box. Flicking the lid over, I was in awe. How did this end up here? How did I end up here seems like a better question perhaps. No one else was in sight. I was alone in a field with a lighter.
A feeling came over me and created sparks in my fingers and wrapped around my heart. Realizing how I could just flick a flame and it could cause the whole field to be on fire, perhaps even to the woods. I had the tendency to. I wanted to burn this all down. Fear kicked in, however, remembering the smoke above my father and me and trying to find a way out of our burning home. A floating thought came over me. What if I went down like my father? I glanced at my hands, grimacing.
Toby. I clenched in anger, remembering his innocent demeanor when I had finally realized who is really is. I can't believe this. I.... Trusted him. I... even felt oddly attached to that psycho.
Forcing myself to stand, I let the wind dance with my hair as I tried to look anywhere for any signs besides the woods and this dead, pale field. I stared at the lighter- intimidated by it.
I sighed, "What am I doing anymore?" I looked all over my hands. "Two people," I mouthed, unsure. "Are gone because of me."
"What difference does more make anyways?" I flashed a disgusted frown, but quickly bit my lip. Out of the moment, I eagerly flipped open the lighter and ignited it with a quick turn of the spark wheel with my thumb. It was lit. Yet, it died quickly. Frowning, I did it again but this time it lasted longer.
Maybe... If I just. I dropped the lighter. No, it was no accident. A small flame the size of a small pebble, started growing gradually on some dead weeds. It took perhaps a minute before it really began to grow around the source. I watched it conspicuously. Glancing around once more and at my hands, I decided I needed to get away from here.
And that's what I did. I made way from the flame that became quicker every few seconds. A smirk flashed upon my stressed features. Perhaps it'll be nothing and die out. Perhaps it'll cause a brushfire and turn into a wildfire. And if so, call me an arsonist. A murderer. Everything is just simply under control.
Clicking my tongue, I walked faster through the field in case someone happened to be near and see the aflame brush and weeds.
Where's Toby?
Where's the mother fucking arsonist and murderer?
Is that me now? A murderer, yes. An arsonist? I glanced back at the spreading aflame. Yes. However, where's he? Then glanced at my hands.
It wasn't long before I was walking in the dead woods of bare trees and the absence of animals and life. I glanced at my hands for another time again. I forgot to mention something, haven't I? Along my hands was dried blood that cracked. My sleeves were slathered in a dark red-orange from the elbow down. And the switchblade was in my back pocket. It made no sense, but I remembered an image like Deja Vu.
Yet the image appeared dimly in my mind and all I can see was the twig-like figure standing over Toby while I held onto the switchblade raised in a threatened manner at the figure.
(Oml, I'm trying to type this all out from bullet points n' shit, and I hope it's not too confusing. @_@)
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Under Control (Ticci Toby X Reader)
Fanfiction(May contain sensitive topics) Things never went as plan as (Y/n) hoped. Her family had dissipated, leaving her with her solemn aunt. There, she was alone and liked it that way. When she had developed bad habits of drinking, she was falling into her...
