Under Control (Ticci Toby X Reader)

Chapter Twelve

"Has anything traumatizing happened to you?" That question. That question itself was asking for it. Dr. Reyes, the therapist I was recently seeing asked me.

When he asked this, I felt something in me twitch and lock. My heart stopped, my lungs even seemed to stop, and all my joints locked up and images flashed through my eyes. Fire. Everything's burning. "(Y/n)!" that voice was calling for me! The doctor began to speak and I totally zoned out and everything was not to be heard. I started to heavily breathe and rest my head in my hands.

Then I felt the doctor put a hand on my shoulder. That did it. I was not going to be told about myself anymore! I gripped onto his hand and yanked it so he fell from his swivel chair and hit his head and side first to the floor. "I'm out!" I barked and took my time to get out of the place.

"(Y/n)? What happened?" Amy asked as I walked out. " I heard a loud noise."

"Yes, you did hear a noise! Good for you! If you want to know so badly, go look for yourself! I'm leaving!" And with that I pushed her away and made my lasting journey to the exit doors of the buildings. Oh, I felt so alive!

I smirked at my little victory in there and made my way down from the parking lot and decided on leaving Amy here and just walk home. I don't usually walk anywhere near downtown, got a car to take care of that, but right now I was not going to ruin my moment.

"(Y/n)!" that aching voice called for me again and I knew where it was coming from.

Now the moment was ruined. My heart ached and pained, my ribs felt bruised, and my lungs felt like it took all my energy to just breathe. Why was I feeling like this? Everything started hurting.

"Deal with it, (Y/n). You're strong, " I poorly tried to motivate myself.

I walked further on and tried to take a grip of myself where I was no longer downtown, but in the outskirts where the woods lined and blotched the area. Everything felt heavy and wighed in. But I pulled through, yet it didn't last.

Heavy breathing, my legs gave up and memories flashed violently in my head. How had so many of these explicit memories find a way of retreating themselves for each day of my life? It all came back so fast. I remembered everything I was capable of and felt my throat dry and my heart throbbing painfully. My head was so fogged up with everything returning. All these things and it just had to add that... somewhat oddly pleasureable memory of killing the man. And it was blur and everything went dark. Went silent. And everything felt solace.

*
"Wake up! Wake up!" Was that? Dad! My eyes fluttered open and the air smelt smoky and full. "Get up!"

"Dad?" I shouted from my bed and instanteously flew out of the bed in a desperate act. My father, holding onto the door sill pulled me by the arms and tried to rush me to the nearest exit. We were upstairs.

No, no, no, am I... reliving this? "Dad? What happened!?"

"Some shit went psycho and set the Goddamn street on fire!"

I looked over at my overwhelmed father who tried to look for the nearest exit which would have to be a window. "Find an exit!" He ordered trying to find something to break open a window. Stairs? I tried to keep low and saw the door to the room which the stairs were in. I felt like I was hyperventalating. I went to turn the knob but instantly pulled back as the  metal burned my hand badly. The fire was on the other side of the door then. "(Y/n)!" My dad called. "Over here!" I rushed where he was, the window broken, but his figure coughing and yaking as he tried to help me over and under the smoke. "You're gonna have to jump!" Hesitantly, I eyed the ground which was a good nine to eleven feet down.

"What about you!?" I yelled, my eyes fiercing with worry as I felt my worst nightmare was going to come to life.

"I can barely... breathe," he coughed. "Get out!" Tears streaked my ash stained face as shock took over.

"No, Dad! You can get out!"

Her father blew me a kiss and smiled, unexpectedly, pushing me out of the window.  You Asshole.

*

"Ai!" I cried out as I breathed heavily and shook.

"Woah!" I heard someone say as I frantically looked around and noticed the familiar scenary. "Calm down."

I was in my room, lying on my bed and- I looked over to my side where the voice came- Toby sat next me on a stool. He looked a bit frightened. I felt a wave of relief wash over me and rested my head on the pillow.

There was an amiable silence. One that was not awkward, but pleasant. Like no one needed to speak. Just the silence itself talked in a warm way. It was a truly needed silence.

Unfortunately, Toby broke the silence by asking, "Want a Capri Sun?"

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