Screams of the Lost and Found

Awakening Pounding

I woke up slowly, leaning against a motorcycle. I didn't know now I got here. Ugh, my head. What hap- Oh my Jesus! Everything flushed back to me, every tiny detail. Sean. The knife. Alex. Everything. I held my pounding head, it felt like it was going to destruct in any second. I still didn't want to open my eyes, for fear of what I might see.

I felt hands shake my shoulders gently. I gingerly opened my eyes, and saw Alex shaking me. His face was still rose with anger, but a new coat of worry was plastered on it. He looked like he actually cared what happened to me. But no, nobody could actually care about me.

"Are you ok?! You're alright now, you're safe." I looked at him, and surprisingly tears started to form. I hate crying with an undying brutality. I believe if I cry, I'm weak, and that's all I'll ever be. Crying equals pain, pain equals more pain, more pain equals eventual death. I don't want to die, but someday, I think that might be my only option out of this hell.

I murmur " I'm never safe". "Hmm, what was that?" He questioned me. "N-Nothing, I'm ok." I lied straight, I'm used to lying like nothing now about being fine. It was like a second nature to me. It's not like I wanted it to be, but that's just how it is, I guess. Lying, even though it may not "help", it protects me. It covers me like a dark mist, shielding me from the everlasting questions.

I let a few tears slide down my face, it was so hard to keep them in. I closed my eyes, and suddenly I felt arms wrap around me. "Shhh, let it out. You're ok. I'm here." I broke down then and there, I couldn't handle the constant abuse at home, and the image of being the popular girl all the time.

"Pl-please d-don't hurt me." It slipped. I thought he was mad at me, I mean, I caused him to miss the party. Alex pulled out of the hug, "Why in the hell would I hurt you?" I could feel my eyes go huge, I did not say that, please say I did not say that out loud.

"Santana, fucking tell me, why would I hurt you?" He said angrily. It was absolutely terrifying knowing he has a knife on him, plus he was angry. "I-I got go, thanks." With that I sprinted down the street all the way down the block, until finally I reached my house. I wish I didn't go home. God, so many questions would have been avoided.