chapter four

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"Maybe I just wanna be yours."

I never was someone, who got jealous a lot. But honestly my first relationship was with a boy and we met at a pride festival. I wasn't even attracted to him sexually or romantically, but I really liked him as a friend. However we stayed friends, until he moved to another state. So we lost contact, but somehow we managed to meet up like once or twice a year. That was nice, but most of the time a little bit awkward when the meeting started, it got better after a while. Like I was still really happy, when we were not together anymore.

My second relationship was with a girl at school and she was still there, but it was awkward generally. Like really, that's why we most of the time tried to just avoid each other most of the time, which normally worked pretty good.

However I never really experienced jealousy at all, I trusted my partners, so I knew I didn't have anything to worry about. Well... Minho was always kind of possessive towards his boyfriends, but maybe that was just his character. The problem came within Newt and the way he treated me - or more like the way he didn't treat Minho.

It was apparently obvious for others - I fought vehemently against it - that Newt had developed a crush on me or was at least more interested in me than Minho.

Nevertheless I wasn't particular interested in Newt in a romantic way, but since my feelings usually came along after spending some time with hat person, I was not really worried. Or maybe I should be, since Teresa always told me that Newt definitely liked me, but for me we didn't know each other enough.

And maybe I should've kept it that way, then probably none of this would have ever happened, which would be for the better.

Well Minho actually was really jealous towards me, since Newt spent a lot of time with me due to orchestra. Newt was always happy when we had orchestra, which was not only extremely cute, but I also was just happy, when he was happy.

Besides Orchestra Newt kind of persuaded me to join Glee Club. (Which was definitely a horrible idea, since I could not really sing or anything else.)

Besides us there  were only six others in glee club, so it was a really personal environment. Newt seemed to be kind of a music person, but frankly he was good at everything, which was kind of annoying sometimes, but I couldn't be jealous of him, I was just happy for him.

Especially since he was so nice to everybody - of course there were times where Newt was kind of what could be described as 'bitchy' - and always tried to help them.

"Stop staring, it is really obvious and also kind of embarrassing," I heard a voice next to me - Teresa.

We had weekly representations of politics in social studies for some reason and today it was Newt's turn, I however seemed to have completely stopped paying attention and instead had stared at Newt the whole time - oops.

"I am sorry, okay?" I replied and shrugged my shoulders. Minho was going to kill me if he ever found out about this. I basically was pinching his crush - which kind of didn't make any sense at all.

"Don't be sorry, Thomas, you and Newt would make the cutest couple ever," Teresa replied and grinned at me, then added quietly. "Please don't let Minho interfere with you and Newt. He has to accept that Newt doesn't like him that way and as soon as he does, the sooner he can get over it."

"Teresa, you are really savage sometimes, you know that?" I replied and knew at the same time that for some weird reason 'broes before hoes' didn't apply to me or Minho or this situation. And yeah, maybe Teresa was right and I should go for it... and then just see how it goes.

"You're considering it, aren't you?" Teresa asked kind of teasingly. "I know that look on your face, you're considering making a move and you know you'll break Minho's heart."

"To be honest, if you thought about it like that, then you would break his heart all five weeks," I replied and felt already immediately extremely bad for it. I didn't necessarily mean it like that - well actually I did, but I still shouldn't have said it in the first place.

"Savage, Tom, savage," she answered with a laugh and glanced at Minho. "Even if he hates you after that, I'll still be there for you."

"Awww thanks, bæ," I said with a laugh.

-'ღ'-

"So... why did you have to convince me to join this club?" I asked Newt playfully annoyed. "I can't sing and I feel like an outsider."

"It's actually pretty cool, we had the same thing in Britain and it was like really cool," Newt replied with a smile and his excitement was actually kinda cute. His eyes had lit up again, like they had the whole time, when he was talking about music. It was amazing to see Newt talk about things he was passionate about.

It was the thing with music and also sometimes politics, which was probably where Newt's interests laid. And it was the thing I already admired about him - that he could be so passionate about things that he completely geeked out.

"Okay, but like really I loved the song we played in orchestra, I didn't know that Americans where so open about playing film music in orchestra, we only ever played classic stuff," Newt started talking to me, as we talked towards the lockers. "Like really I was so happy that we played Pirates Of The Caribbean."

"I mean you killed the Violine solo, like everybody was probably just completely amazed by the way you played that," I replied and it was the truth. Not the 'better' way of saying something... no even completely brutal honest Newt was just objectively the best one in the orchestra.

"You're petty good by yourself to be honest, I mean, that solo in the beginning was pretty good..." Newt replied with a smile, as his face lit up completely with some new sort of excitement again. "We should play at this music thing of our school... you know where we can present stuff like music and theatre.

"You mean 'showtime's'?" I asked him with a small smile. "So what do you want us to do?"

"Singing would be really nice, I would love to sing some sort of duet with you... together," he replied with a smile, as we both arrived at our lockers, which were only one locker separated from each other.

I felt closer to Newt than I did to most of my other friends even after this small amount of time I felt like Newt and I got along better than I did even with Minho. However the explanation for me was in the fact that I didn't know Newt's flaws yet, so I obviously liked interacting with him better than with Minho.

"Okay, but first let me take a selfie," I heard Newt's voice next to me, which made me laugh.

I didn't think that he took it serious until after I stopped laughing and Newt showed me the really beautiful pictures of me and him - he looked better.

With a chuckle he locked his phone again and after we closed our lockers, he linked arms with me.

"Sorry," he apologised. "I still don't know the way, my sense of direction is so bad, so please show the way."

I guided him outside the building, while a few students, who still had some classes, looked at us questioningly, probably completely confused by what we were doing.

We were nearly out of the building, when I saw Minho running into school - late like always. As he saw us he bumped into me kind of 'harshly' and it looked 'accidentally'.

And he didn't apologise.

I was screwed.

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