I Walk The Line (A Bucky Barnes Fanfiction)

Chapter 34

The worst thing about Bucky leaving was everyone's sudden interest in my well-being. I could not stand the sympathetic looks I was getting, the constant asking if I was okay, if I wanted to hang out, whatever. I could not get one moment alone. It was like they were all afraid I'd run away too, or maybe even hurt myself. Newsflash: I'm not that fucking pathetic.

I just wanted to be alone. And although the hours passed by slowly without Bucky around to keep me company, I was okay with that. I just wanted to get my thoughts straight. I still had a lot of mixed feelings about the whole affair. One moment I was mad, the next sad, the next just confused.

For the first two weeks, I spent the free time at the gym, letting my anger out by destroying every single punching bag there was. Steve came down to keep me company once, but that ended by me almost breaking his neck. Natasha came around a few times to ask me if I wanted to "talk about it". I didn't. She tried to give me that famous talk about how Bucky just needs time to sort himself out. She stopped after I threw a bottle of water at her. Sam tried a different approach: he talked about how Bucky's nothing but a coward. He ended up losing a tooth.

The only person who did none of the annoying things was Tony, and I was beyond grateful. After a while, he was the only person I talked to at all. He never mentioned Bucky or my feelings or wanted to have a talk. I'd come down to his lab and he'd show me something new he was working on and that was it. I spoke a lot less than usual, and he never bugged me about it.

After about a month, I started just going out. First thing in the morning, I'd get dressed, grab a snack and leave the building, and I would come back late in the evening. I spent my days walking around the town, exploring new restaurants and caffés, just basically dating myself. And I stopped thinking about Bucky. I refused to. It brought too much pain and sadness. I just wanted to feel happy again.

The only thing that brought me comfort was that he'd text me occasionally. It wasn't that special, he just wanted to let me know he was alive, like I'd requested. He'd rarely reply to my texts, and he never picked up the phone when I called. I missed his voice terribly. I missed his touch and his smile and his eyes, his fucking eyes, and the way he'd hug me and I missed sleeping, because I'd started having nightmares again, and I needed him. It was miserable, I was miserable. The only way I could cope was being alone. He was my weakness.

I let my guard down. That's all that happened, because I was desperately in love, I let all my walls down and I fell right into a trap. Something I could've easily predicted had I not been so preoccupied with my thoughts and feeling and all the bullshit that had been happening.

And it's not like I didn't notice the signs. I just didn't care enough to put them together. There were no big important HYDRA missions. We'd been called only for some terrorist activity which we destroyed at the roots, so nothing special.

What I also thought not to be anything special was the fact that I was being followed. Wherever I'd go, two men - always the two of them - would be nearby, pretending to read or jog or have coffee together. If I'd happen to sit down somewhere, a black BMW would just happen to park near where I was. They would change the plates, but that never threw me off. I knew I was being followed. And I never did anything about it because I just assumed it was Natasha and Steve sending out agents to keep an eye out for me. I never mentioned anything because I did not give a shit. Big mistake on my part, I can admit that much.

It all happened because of a text. It was a late Wednesday night. I was walking home slowly, taking my time. As I was getting closer to the Avengers HQ, I started feeling more and more anxious, like always. I didn't want to go just yet. I could see some lights were still on, meaning that somebody was awake. That's why I decided to turn into a dark alley and walk around some more. Just until everyone was surely asleep.

My senses were on high alert. I knew the dangers of being a woman and walking through dark alleys late at night. I also knew that whoever tried to even catcall me would end up in hospital with a broken neck.

I came out through the other end soon enough. The streets were yellow under the light of the many streetlamps. They even felt fluorescent and gave me a slight headache.

I finally decided to actually head home. I figured I could easily avoid being seen, and even if I was, I'd ignore the person completely. For some reason, my senses were still on high alert, like back in the dark alley. I felt like I was being watched, and for the first time in a long time, I couldn't figure out who was watching me. I picked up my pace, but not for long. My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I instantly stopped to look at the message, hoping it was Bucky.

And I was right.

I think I'm coming home. I hope you'll forgive me. I love you.

I held my breath as I read the text over and over again. I didn't know what I was feeling. Happiness was obvious, but I was also exhausted all of a sudden. Could I forgive him? Was I even ready for that?

I was brought back to the cruel reality when something big and hard hit my head forcefully. I could basically hear my skull being crushed under the force. My legs gave way and I collapsed on the cold concrete of the sidewalk, facedown. Everything was spinning, and I couldn't tell which way was up and which was down. All I heard was laughter, a laugh that I once loved, and now it just made me sad. My phone was still in my hand, and with a quick motion, I threw it out of the view, into the darkness of an entrance into a building. Seconds later, a foot was shoved into my shoulder, turning me around. It took my eyes a few seconds to focus properly on the face hovering above mine.

"Miles?" I muttered.

"Hey there beautiful." His sarcastic grin was the last thing I was before I blacked out.