Fifty More Shades of Wilkinson

Chapter Nine

As I choke back literally every emotion, I keep a straight face as I read the words he replied back with. 

Me: "Who said I moved on? Who said I was okay with the thought of moving on?"

The room kinda just went silent and no one is saying anything. I look down at my phone after looking at everyone to see another message. "Sabrina, I have a question and I don't want to text it I need to talk to you."

I read it out loud and then look at Bella and Gilinsky for advice.

B: Go idiot.

Me: What?
G: Go, he's not gonna tell you if you don't go.

I nod.

Me: Last time I was with him alone we sort of got swarmed with fans.
B: Ask to go somewhere more private
Me: Like where?
B: His house?
G: Not a good idea
JJ: no matter where you guys go you're gonna be bombarded with people
G: He's gotta point

I look down at my phone and text him asking where. It takes about a minute before he replies with "are you at Gilinsky's?" Okay that's not weird, but I reply with yea and he tells me to come outside. I get up and go outside to see him standing next to his white jeep. I walk over to him holding my phone tightly.

S: Hey
Me: Hi, how'd you know I was here 

He points to my car then puts his arm down.

Me: oh
S: Yea
Me: What's your question?
S: Before the crash..

Oh God.

S: You were sick, throwing up even. 
Me: get to the point.
S: Were you pregnant? Did you lose it in the accident? Or like.... what?

I knew this question was coming and I knew how this was gonna go. I didn't want to answer

S: Well?
Me: No, I didn't lose her in the accident.
S: Her? So.. the baby is alive? and okay?
Me: No. I lost her in London Sam. I got 5 months into the pregnancy, found out the sex and then I had a miscarriage. I was devastated. That's when I decided on coming back home but it took a while for me to become myself again. 

We just stand there, I hate talking about her. I was going to name her Hannah.

Me: I was gonna tell you, never had the chance to.

He turns away and wipes his hands down his face. I can tell he's trying to keep himself together and he's just about to lose it. I love this boy and he's with someone else. This is the boy who told me he cheated on me because he no longer loved me. The boy I gave everything up for. The boy I know I can't have because he's no longer mine.

I'd do anything to be able to touch him like I use to. I still love him. What am I gonna do with myself? He's far from perfect but he's pretty alright in my book.

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I'm back fuckers lol. I love you guys I really don't deserve this many views on either of my books. I love you guys so much. and I love when you guys comment and my messages are ALWAYS open soooo if you ever wanna talk to me I gotchu fam. I know i don't write a lot butttttt you know what? Stassie and Sammy make me depressed and I don't ship it no offense to anyone. I never liked her from way before she dated Sam. So don't hit me with that "you're just jealous" because you can't be jealous of fake.

Comment down below if you ship "Stammy" if you comment anything hateful I'm reporting it. I respect everyone's opinions so. (i almost wrote onions lmao)