semi-automatic | joshler

2. stop, focus

Play the song: "Make Me Fade" by K.Flay.

•

Tyler hates himself.

The first day of school finally came and he wants to scream. He's not completely sure, what awaits for him inside that building, but he just has to survive this day. He doesn't care about tomorrow.

He waves to Debby until she finally drives away after what feels like 10 minutes. She was really afraid to let him go today. She was probably more anxious than him. It's all difficult for both of them.

The whole drive to school Tyler was staring at his hands on his lap and nothing else. He was terrified and Debby noticed it immediately. She didn't sing out loud this time. She didn't play any music at all.

He's early enough, so he doesn't have to hurry like on Friday. He believes, that he can also avoid most of people, that decide to come in the last minute and always make a chaos.

He feels smaller than he actually is, when he opens main glass door and comes inside. He doesn't have a time to look around, when a counsellor passes the hallway and reaches him by the way with a smile and asks to go with her to her office.

"Good morning, Tyler." She seems too cheerful for the first day of school at seven o'clock in the morning. Are teachers always like that? They apparently are. Tyler wonders, what he would be like at her age, when he already wants to fall down on the floor and never stand up again at the age of 17.

She looks for something on her little desk and after a moment hands Tyler a map of the school and a schedule. He automatically scans the latter one and his eyes go wide. For a minute he's convinced, that she must have handed him the wrong schedule, so he checks the top of it a few times. It's his. He feels like he might as well scream out everything, what's hiding behind his lungs in a moment, but can't do anything else, than stay silent.

Seemingly, the woman notices the look on his face and tries to send him a small smile of apology. Maybe she really should have, because it seems like this year will suck, but he almost wishes he could tell her it's okay, so she stops feeling bad and he will survive it. It would take more than a few terrible classes to break him.

"I hope you will feel safe here. Have fun, Tyler, and don't hesitate to come here, if something happens." Tyler has no idea, what forced her to tell him to have fun, but it was a little pathetic move from her. Nevermind. Tyler leaves her office and tries to find a classroom.

Classes are quite calm. People probably already think he's strange, so they don't even say a word to him and he's thankful for that. He draws something different every hour.

Brendon guy from last friday catches him during the second break and talks some dumb stuff, really casually. It's weird, but Tyler feels like he's trying to hit on him. But who even is he? He is talking, Tyler is walking. Some time passes, when he finally gives up, says "Goodbye, see you later bud," and walks away. He's funny.

Music theory class. The teacher, a woman in her late twenties, with a blonde ponytail and incredibly perfect piano-playing hands, makes students sit in a circle. A circle. In a circle everybody has the a clear sight of the rest, all at once, and that's a thing that doesn't make Tyler feel safe at all.

They are going to play a game, during which you have to tell three things about yourself, of course, but one of them has to be a lie, and the class has to figure out which one is the lie.