semi-automatic | joshler

20. hiding room

Play the song: "Giver" by K.Flay.

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The next day has risen up sooner than Tyler was able to realize it. It has gone by so quickly, that he has to be already waiting for Brendon to take him wherever he planned to. Tyler isn't sure, if he really wants it; if he wants the repeat of the last time, even though Brendon said it definitely wouldn't happen.

Yesterday happened like a blink of an eye; Tyler still doesn't exactly know, if he managed to take everything in and examine it in his head. Thoughts of Brendon finally finding out the truth, of the way he had to get to know it, and the whole party, were crowding his mind through the whole night. And finally the thoughts that shouldn't be even haunting him; From the moment when Josh invited him to his house again, how warmly he was greeted, and how Josh was looking at him in that kitchen. Well, it probably wasn't supposed to mean anything significant, obviously, but his mind keeps reminding him, that it actually was, and he isn't sure, if he likes it or not. He isn't sure of anything.

A knock on the door startles him, and he realizes, that it's too late to back out, even though deleting plans with Brendon doesn't really seem possible anyway. But why did he agree to this, again? He hates parties, or more like, hates people there, who mostly aren't really wise thinking, and he doesn't like the atmosphere and smell of alcohol, and a sight of unconscious students. Josh was clever enough to deny beforehand. Maybe if Tyler talked, his words would be convincing enough to disagree, too.

Sometimes he feels like a paper doll in hands of society, that controls and leads his every move; This is what the whole thing about being mute makes him feel sometimes. He is unable to say all the arguments being formed in his head through the years.

But on the other hand, it gave him power he never thought he would have. Of all the weapons he's fought with in his life, the silence seems to be the most intense, and he uses it towards people he doesn't fully trust, or at all. So most of them."

"Look, who decided to open the door!" Brendon greets him with far too big enthusiasm on his face. It's not like Tyler had another of his regular breakdowns just a second ago.

He nods to Brendon, who moves to lead a way to his car, without any further questions, surprisingly. Tyler isn't complaining, though. The less questions, the less problems, especially for him.

"How about stopping by Josh's house to drag him with us?" Brendon asks, when they are already settled inside the car.

Tyler shrugs his shoulders, hoping that Brendon can see. He can't exactly imagine having Josh by his side during that kind of an event, but what is certain is the fact, that Tyler would feel safer. However, he's convinced, that Josh doesn't want anybody to find out that they both are friends, at least not now. Even Brendon finding out about it was a huge surprise. At least it was only Brendon, who didn't make so much of a deal of it.

Tyler doesn't know, what is it about, that they are hiding themselves from other people. He tries to believe, that Josh isn't ashamed of showing up with Tyler publicly, but on the other hand he also doesn't really want to share Josh with other people. It would made them whisper in hallways about the two, who out of all average people there happened to befriend one another. It's better when people don't know. Hanging out with Brendon on their eyes is enough, to be honest.

It's already dark outside, so it's visible, when Brendon turns right into less busy street, which is lit up differently at the very end. Tyler is getting a dejà vu.

He doesn't think it's a good idea to stop by Josh's garage now. It's obvious that Josh won't go with them, and Tyler isn't sure if he's ready to face Josh after his overthinking last night. But he isn't the one making the rules.