there's so much beauty in a storm » k.q + v.f

4| standing on the beach and waiting for the tsunami

"um..." vic started, looking away from kellin entirely in a state of wary thought. "i never thought about it. i mean, i suppose so, though i wouldn't really advise it." he continued.

"why's that?" kellin asked, genuine curiosity burning his tongue so much that he couldn't stop himself from pushing something further than he usually would.

"it'd get messy with attachments and all. not saying that we would take it any further— i just— i wouldn't risk it. probably morally wrong too, right? i mean i'm dead and you're so full of life and grace, i just— i dont know. it wouldn't be worth your time. i know what they told me isn't right and i know i'm not a freak— it just got stuck in my head and now i dont know what else to think." vic vented, reminding kellin just why he usually didn't push things like this.

he had a feeling that 'they' had something to do with vic's death. if that was true, he had a disturbing new amount of insight into what happened to him, and he hated it. with every fibre of his being he hated it. having this newfound privilege, kellin pulled vic into a tight hug, rubbing small circles into his back without a care of what it looked like to anyone else; his friend needed him.

even with the air almost thinning around him as the feeling's he got from hugging vic returned, kellin managed to whisper things about how everything they told him was a lie. he took comfort in being the one saying these things to vic and making him feel better. the reliance was priceless. vic's insecurities made kellin mad because all he wanted to do was make vic see how great he was. it wasn't that easy; it wasn't that hard.

"know any place we could go? i dont feel like dealing with people anymore," kellin asked quietly, more or less ready to drop the subject that lead to vic's misery. nearly too quietly. luckily vic was fluent in the quiet, he had mastered it long ago.

"i still have a house if you fancy getting away? It's nothing nice, but it's empty until my brother mike and his wife alysha get back from their travels." vic informed. kellin wasn't sure just how much vic was aware he had give away then. he could now figure out that vic's death must have happened in the past 50 years at least for his brother to be alive and able to do such a thing. he wondered why he hadn't heard of this tragedy on the news or anything, surely it happened locally?

"kellin? are you up for it?" vic asked, tapping kellin's shoulder and shaking him from his thoughts. the pale, black-clothing-clad boy mustered up an uneasy smile and a nod, following his friend a few blocks over and into some woodland. it was shady, sure. but kellin was just glad to be out of school and not at home either— his ears were still ringing from earlier's incidents.

once they reached the front step, kellin watched vic disappear through the wood, unlocking the window for kellin to climb through. "i forgot you'd need a key to get in since you're solid. hopefully you can get up through here," vic said, poking his head out of the window. kellin smiled, using all of the strength he could muster to pull himself in through the window.

the place was dark but it was well kept and styled well to match it's little-light situation. vic led kellin up the stairs to what he assumed was vic's old room. it was weird to think that vic's family probably didn't know he was still able to see them and be there. if they didn't, why couldn't he tell them? why did he choose kellin?

"vic," kellin asked quietly, sitting on the plush surface beside his supine friend. "if you thought you were worth it, would you let me kiss you?"

both of them fell silent again for the same reason. they were waiting for vic's answer. it was completely unknown to both what vic's answer would be.

"you're doing this for an experiment, right?" vic asked, although he was only making an attempt to soothe his own mind.

kellin of course nodded, willing to say anything to give it a try. perhaps on the surface it felt like an experiment for kellin's curious mind, but deep down both boys knew it was as much for the ache in their very beings to give their souls a romantic awakening. put simply; they had almost fallen for one another.

"then i see no harm in trying," vic said.

that was a lie.

the reason this was a lie was that the second kellin's soft, pink lips touched vic's cold ones, he felt alive again. his heart, although dormant for quite some time, felt reborn. kellin felt the same. even though kellin's heart was not nearly as dead as his companions, having his body in sync and fingers weaved into the hair of a boy he found endlessly attractive, he felt as though he knew what it felt like to have a beating heart.

that doesn't sound like harm, but not only did vic know this was wrong, he knew it wouldn't end well. he knew how he got in relationships and didnt want kellin to be put through that. unfortunately for them, it was too late. for when they both held what the other needed to obtain something as addictive as a beating heart, there was no escaping the attachment that would surely follow.

now that? that was most surely both of their downfalls.