Falling From Grace: Student-Teacher Forbidden Romance

Chapter 26

[RECAP: Father Gabriel and Leonie are developing a much closer friendship, bonding over poetry. But that's not all they both want...]

Leonie spent the rest of the day in a mixture of bliss and turmoil. To have spent all that time with Father Gabriel was just amazing.

But it also made things harder. The more she was with him, the closer he was, the more she wanted him.

He can never be yours, she reminded herself. He doesn't see you that way, he's a priest.

And yet...

She knew she needed to curb her imagination, because it was being fuelled by her heart into all sorts of wild fantasies. She was so sure that he had been close to kissing her. But really, a priest? There was a huge difference between him deciding to do something like that, and the physical thing after rehearsal.

That had just been a bodily urge. He hadn't been thinking straight and nor had she.

But why would he lie down with her then? Why talk to her about all those things, and call her beautiful? Or was that just a part of his priestly duty, his pastoral care? Taking an interest in her and trying to lift her spirits.

Leonie wished she had someone to confide in but she was sure her roommates would be appalled. If she had to talk to any of them, oddly she thought that Harry would be the easiest. Though she spent more time with Mai and Figgy, there was something about Harry that suggested she cared less for convention. Even though she was an aristocrat. Or maybe because she was? Perhaps if you reached the top of the social sphere in England you could do as you pleased, without regard to what anyone else thought.

It was a liberating notion.

By chance she bumped into Harry later, walking back from lacrosse with a couple of her team mates. They had to visit Mother Benedict about something, so after greeting Leonie they departed. Leonie was left alone with Harry.

"How goes it?" Harry said. "Ankle any better?"

"It's been okay for days," Leonie said. "I would have been fine for netball today, but Matron gave me a note."

Harry nodded. "It's better not to take any chances with those kind of injuries. Otherwise you could be out for weeks."

Being off netball for weeks sounded just fine to Leonie. If it meant more woodland sessions with Father Gabriel. She sighed, thinking about it.

"You alright?" Harry asked.

"Just the usual. I'm good, really," Leonie said.

"Homesick? Heartsick?"

Leonie grinned. "Probably a bit of both."

"Pining for some hot guy back in the states? Will you get to fly back for the half term holiday?"

Unfortunately not. Leonie was spending the vacation with her grandmother. The semester - or Autumn term, as they called it here - was so long that it was split in half with a week-long vacation.

"No, but maybe at Christmas."

"You'll see him in December, then. It's not so long off. Does he write?" Harry asked.

"Not exactly. He's not...we're not..."

Now Harry grinned. "Unrequited love?"

"Forbidden love."

Harry raised her eyebrows. "Now I'm intrigued. What it is it, a married man? Your stepbrother? A bad boy in a bikie gang? The US president?"

Leonie burst out laughing at this. "Not quite that. But someone I can't have, ever."

"Never say never. Life's too short. If you want something badly enough, just go for it."

Leonie considered this. "If it was you in my position. Let's say a married man, though it's not exactly that. Would you do anything?"

Harry tossed her lacrosse stick up, twirling it and catching it while she thought. "If his wife was a bitch, and I thought he might feel the same, then yes. On the other hand, if he totally adored her and she was an angel, I'd probably just remove myself. Go overseas for a few months and drown my sorrows."

Being a priest, Gabriel's wife was effectively God or the Virgin Mary or something, Leonie thought. Hardly a bitch. And she was sure Gabriel adored his Creator.

And yet...

Harry looked at her seriously. "Life really is too short. You can't spend eighty years being miserable and self-sacrificing, if there's the slightest gleam of hope. Even if you get rejected. Even if it doesn't last. You have to know. Regret is far more bitter, and a terrible waste."

Her tone lightened again. "I hope I haven't just gone and encouraged you to split up your sister's marriage, or something. I think I probably would hold off if it was a brother-in-law, unless they divorced first. Fortunately I don't have any sisters, and my cousin married a man who looks like a horse."

"I don't have any married sisters either, so we're safe there," Leonie said.

"Good. If it's something like a guy who's older, or a college professor, or even someone engaged, I wouldn't hesitate."

Father Gabriel was older than her, Leonie considered. She wasn't exactly sure how old he was, but it didn't seem like an insurmountable gap. It wasn't Hugh Hefner level anyway. As a teacher he was more or less in the same category as a college professor, at least in terms of that taboo. It was the engaged thing she was stuck on. He was engaged to the church. Wedded to it.

Did priests ever leave the priesthood? Were they even allowed to?

Leonie could absolutely not ask Harry about this, as it would totally give her away. Given there were only two priests at school, and it was hardly likely she'd have a crush on Father Stephen.

They had reached the school and were climbing the stairs to Pentecost dorm. "Sometimes these things are better out than in," Harry said. "Get it out and it takes the pressure off. It might even help you get over it, if it's not meant to be." She smiled wickedly. "Or you might end up with the most frightfully complicated mess. Only you can decide that."

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Just a warning: some HOT M-rated stuff is coming next week. Hold on to your seats!

(The baddest bits will be in a new Companion work, which I'll link to, so I can keep the main book PG-rated).