Ashlee grew up in Des Moines. She was friends with all the guys of Slipknot and lived with Corey for many years after her parents died. She found love; but it wasn't always the best. Follow her journey through love, pain, anger and hate.
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June 14, 2011 – Athens, Greece
Slipknot decided to put on a show shortly after Paul's death. It just felt like the thing we had to do to keep everyone from completely falling apart again.
After the funeral, everyone separated again for a while. It was usual for the band to fall out of touch but I made it clear to Sid that this couldn't happen anymore. Things had to change and we had to stay together.
Shanna and I moved back to Des Moines the week after the funeral. She moved in with Corey and I, with Sid.
We made it clear to each other that we love one another way too much to continue doing the stupid shit we've done for so many years.
We did talk about everything that went on with me when I left, and his answer for the incident in California? He was deathly afraid that I would get back with Corey since we were so close our whole lives and pushed me away.
He made it very clear to the band that he was mine, and I his. No more bullshit about it.
Everyone was ecstatic and kept commenting on how it only took five years, but fucking finally.
Corey actually proposed to Shanna a few days ago, and she happily accepted. I was extremely excited for them. That also meant I have a wedding to plan.
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June 17, 2011
Everyone brought their closest family – wife and kids – with them. I was going to do something special at the end of the show but only the girls and I knew about it.
I was doing the paint on Sid's face as he got ready. "You're gonna do fine out there, baby. You got this." I finished everything and helped him wrap his legs before he threw on his jumpsuit.
Sid kissed me and then left for the show. I'm extremely worried about Joey, though. He doesn't seem okay in the slightest.
He's definitely taking this the hardest. As he walked by me to go on stage, I grabbed him into a tight hug which he returned.
"You're gonna do great," I told him and pulled away. Sid came up next and placed his masked forehead against mine, his way of 'kissing' me through the mask. I squeezed his hand and wished him luck.
The girls, kids, and I all watched from backstage. We knew this was going to be an extremely emotional night and we couldn't wait for the end of the show.
We all gave signs of encouragement to each of our men who shot a look to us at any given moment.
As they all piled on stage, the crowd went wild. There were many signs about Paul out there and it made my heart swell.
Slipknot has the best fucking fans in the world. Sid walked across the stage, then dove into the crowd. They caught him and he got back to the stage in order to begin the show.
