70 Deadly Wattpad Sins (The Book Of Evil Advice!)

Sin #28: Attack Of The Straw Men (Trigger Warning: Politics)

We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OMG HE'S WHITE WTF EWW GTFO

I BET HE HATES BLACK PEOPLE OR SOMETHING, THAT'S LIKE THEIR THING

PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A TUMBLR

SCARECROW, GO KICK THAT ALT-RIGHT MISOGYNIST IN THE EMERALDS

Stellar intro, as always.

I stopped trying a long time ago. Let's see just how many of our readers we can offend before the first page scroll, y'know?

Today we'll be covering the Straw Man Fallacy, or in simpler terms, how 99% of internet arguments can be resolved by not being a dimwit.

I can literally hear the dozens of keyboards clacking already. 'But that's not me, Tyro31! My opponent was wrong because they're religious/homophobic/hydrophobic!' Let me tell you right now; when you get stuck inside a straw man argument, no one is correct.

Except for me, because I never lose.

Uh huh. So what's this straw man all about, anyway?

Picture a man in your mind. Also, imagine that he's made entirely of straw.

I can't believe that I'm still reading this book.

You and me both. Now, a straw man argument is when somebody wants to fight and sees the impostor. They pursue and attack this figure that they believe to be you, when in reality, they're just beating up a bundle of cloth and straw.

To take this in another way, look at how Americans use their political agendas to attribute themselves. If someone is labelled a liberal, many assumptions can be drawn from that word alone (pro-abortion, pro-LGBT, anti-death penalty) without ever actually meeting the person.

Just by knowing what side of the political spectrum they lean towards, people take it one step further and build a straw man as a mental image of them. Yes, it is very presumptuous of them, but that's not the only problem.

If you're a liberal and you're arguing with a republican about who their main is in Overwatch, half of your hostility might stem from an unrelated political issue that is sensitive to you. In the end, you start using that as ammo against their entire character.

That's stupid, though. That's really, really stupid.

It's not as uncommon as you think. If someone in your class says that 'coloured people are just filthy and need a wash', three flags are raised in your mind: his use of the word 'coloured', the implication that minorities are unclean and the ignorance he has exhibited.

At this turning point in the age of equality, most of us feel the need to stamp out any sign of 'bigotry' before it can spread. While it's a noble thought, more often than not you'll see people taking this way too far.

'If this student is racist, he is ignorant. If he is ignorant, he's probably homophobic and misogynistic too. If he is all of the above, then he must be an extremist chauvinistic pig who lives each day bullying others and spends most of his time in /r/The_Donald.'

What you don't realise is that this student has been trapped in One Direction's basement all of his life, thus never having seen a different race before. When he escaped and came to his first day of school, he was curious about how flawed everyone else's skin was in comparison to his five baby-smooth masters. 

It was just an innocent suggestion he made to a potential new friend, but you wanted to be offended and made it much bigger than it had to be.

The 'One Direction' joke train has sailed, dude.

Story of my life.

Anyway, as unlikely as this scenario can be, it clearly shows the paranoia of what the internet has dubbed as SJWs. Racist Commenter > White Supremacist > Homophobe > Misogynist > Republican. This is the most common equation right now, but there are many stops here and between.

Don't think that the right wing is innocent here, either. I've seen people make leaps from Trump Insulter > Cuckold > Baby Killer > Demiqueer McAttack Helicopter > Liberal. Notice how I'm staying impartial, even though the terms I've used make it sound rude.

You don't know how I feel about any of these topics, yet I probably sound transphobic just for referencing an overused Tumblr joke. Either there's a straw man nearby, or my hay fever's been acting up.

The fact is, I'm putting myself in danger of being strung up as one just by talking about politics and gender issues. There are so many landmines around this year, it's a good thing that I'm not American right now. Every single day, there's a new controversy that the media blows out of proportion!

Now you're just begging to be shanked in the comments.

Maybe, but that would only illustrate my point further. Any arguments that surface from the mere mention of 'libcucks' or 'cuckservatives' can only be derived from your presumptions of their beliefs.

Even if you know for a fact that someone is racist, you don't know why they think that way. If you are ever going to convince them otherwise, it certainly won't happen by accusing them of being all-hateful monsters! These are humans who can be reasoned with, just like you.

Long story short, don't treat people like idiots to win an argument. Give their thoughts credit, while debunking any myths with kindness and respect.

Being aggressive and turning bigots into straw men only reinforces their beliefs — you've made your own cause look bad by slamming down everyone else's views, ranting and raving like a drunk preacher. You know, the kind of person that people cross the street to avoid?

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You're probably wondering why 'debating' would be a Wattpad sin. To that, I say screw you, I'll write whatever the heck I want. You're not my mum.

But really though, these kinds of fights happen frequently in the non-fiction comments (some are even in this book). I just wanted to make sure that everyone's aware of these logical fallacies, certain booby traps that any user can fall for.

You might think that you're just defending yourself and your lifestyle, but it's extremely common to project other sensitive issues onto an easy target. Before long, you're attacking someone for crap they never even said.

Not all republicans are racists who support the bathroom bill, not all liberals are SJWs who want to eat your unborn children for breakfast. Humanity is too vast a category to squeeze behind those two small words. There are no catch-all terms to describe an entity that constantly changes its perspective, right?

The only way to understand a person's beliefs is to ask them why they believe in such things. Take a journey through their eyes and their culture's logic, like mature adults. 

Who knows? Maybe you're the one who will decide to make a change.

But I heard that he said the 'N' word...

Get the rope.