An Illness ~ A GasterBlaster Sans Story

Act 12: Transformation

WARNING: There are Suicidal Thoughts!

(Sans Pov)

I cleared my throat, butterflies filled my rib cage. I really didn't want to have to do this, but it was the inevitable. My fears began to become noticeable. Papyrus pulled me into an embrace.

"It is alright to be nervous Sans," Papyrus released me and stared into my eye sockets, "we are all a little afraid." I smiled at this comment.

I'm really afraid.

Afraid of being in so much pain, hurting Papyrus, hurting anyone, and terrorizing people. Most of all I'm scared of myself. And that's not healthy.

I've read about it. Feeling that way about yourself can lead to many things. Insanity, self abuse, Homicide, or Suicide. I could go on, but listing things of this caliber, is very uncomfortable.

I finally gained some courage to speak, "where are we going exactly?" Papyrus looked at Alphys while she stared at me.

"Well I guess it's up to you," she said while turning to this watch-looking device on her table, "but it should be outside. Or in a large, secure building."

Some relief washed over me, so I can at least be comfortable in a majorly uncomfortable situation. *I feel completely over joyed.*

It would have to be some place where I won't be overwhelmed. I got it.

Snowdin forest.

The place of my first change. We could go deeper into it. And nobody will know we're there. Perfect.

"how about," I made it sound like a hard decision, "the woods. outside of snowdin." They both looked at me. Maybe that was a bad decision.

"Actually," Alphys began while placing that device in her pocket, "that's a great choice. It's isolated. And has plenty of room. I'm ready, let's head out."

Papyrus helped me to stand. I noticed something, I'm about an entire foot taller than usual. I mean that's not too strange compared to other things.

It was a struggle to get outside of the lab. Papyrus had to eventually carry me the rest of the way. I felt completely safe in his arms. He's like my security blanket. In a way.

Once we reached Waterfall, we got a ride with the River Person.

"Tra la la," the River Person sang out as we passed Undyne's house, "beware of the man who speaks in hands."

That comment seemed a little strange, but it didn't really phase me. I awkwardly tried to avoid looking at anyone. I felt embarrassed. With the way I look, a tail and all.

We soon arrived in Snowdin. The feeling of familiarity fills me with dread.

We came apon the town square, it was overwhelmed with joy. People on both sides talking, laughing, playing. Hardly anyone seemed to notice us.

One of the dog guards Greater Dog, gave a slightly worried expression. Then he quickly got distracted, leaving us to continue into the woods.

It took a long while for us to reach a clearing.

"Is that the clearing?" Papyrus questioned me. "ya bro," I quickly answered him. I just wanted to get this said and done.

"so," I turned my attention to Alphys, "what am i suppose to do?"

"Well Sans," Alphys said while grabbing a device from her pocket, "I was going to use this. It simulates magical development. It will hopefully overload you."

"overload," I started having second thoughts, "alphys, i don't know about this anymore."

"Sans," Papyrus began to coo me, "we just want to help you. Please let us do that. I promise to not leave your side."

I began to calm down. Remember why you're here Sans. Do it for him.

"okay al. slap it on me i guess," I was prepared for this. No more dodging. No more hiding. No delaying the inevitable.

Alphys approached me. Shuffling her feet the entire distance between us. She lowered my hood and strapped the device around my neck.

The machine released a 'beep' signaling it to activate. A wave of heat washed over me. Sweat began to drench my form.

"Sans," Papyrus began to become concerned, "h-how do you feel?"

"i feel really warm. a-and it's b-begin-n-ning to hurt," I started feeling light headed. I started to stumble, Papyrus caught me in his arms. He balanced me upright.

"i'm h-av-ving second-d th-thoughts," my bones were starting to cramp. Every inch of me was aching, ready to explode, "guys please. guys."

"Sans calm down I'm right here," Papyrus tried to calm me.

"i.....HHNNGG!!" I screamed in pain the small spikes that formed only hours before began to erupt, growing nearly four times their original size.

"Oh my god," Alphys exclaimed. She backed away.

"SANS!?!" Papyrus's tears were falling on my already drenched skull.

My feet were breaking, horrible gut wrenching noises escaped them, into even more twisted and wickedly formed angles. Every second of this was torcher. I felt as if death was close by.

"papyrus.....HRGH....(huff).....paprus don't....d-don't leave," I begged Papyrus to stay, even with my cruel claws digging into his arms.

"Sans I am right here. I will never l-leave you," Papyrus answered me, trying his best to hold back his sob.

"i...HHHNNRRGHH........(huff)(puff)....it..it h-urts p-papyrus," I continued to beg Papyrus. Oblivious to how much I was internally tormenting him. Alphys remained silent.

"Sans I will not leave you," he began to shake.

The horrid stench of ozone filled my nasal cavity, as my flaring left eye leaked into the right. My clenched jaw opened and a long maw stretched out. I tried to call out to Papyrus, but only ground shaking feral screams left my mouth.

Everything in my vision began to disappear, and that same nothingness feeling returned. I was losing control. I began to fight, holding on to the memory of Papyrus.

While outside my mind, my misshaped body shoved Papyrus to the ground, he shivered on the ground sobbing. Only a few more beastly roars sounded, and I slammed onto all four of my limbs. I continued to shake from shock, tears streaming down my face. Neither Alphys nor Papyrus had the bravery to approach me.

I continued to fight, not quitting, not wanting to lose. Darkness was surrounding me, hope slipping away from me. Then suddenly a bright light appeared into my view. I ran at it like there's no tomorrow. It continued to grow, vaporizing the cold darkness.

I ran and ran until there was no more darkness. It was white. I'm in control of my body once again.

My legs started shaking, I buckled under my new weight and collapsed on my ribs.

"Sans," Papyrus stood up, Alphys followed him, "are you there."

I turned my head towards him, the final bit of crazed ozone leaving my eye sockets. He must of recognized me in here, he sprinted to my muzzle grasping it into a tight embrace.

"You won Sans," he began cheering me on, "I knew you could do it."

I closed my eyes and repeated the word 'Papyrus' in my mind. Trying to see if I could talk. "P....P....P....PAPYRUSSSssss......"

We embraced my 'victory', not leaving either one of each other's side.

I did it.

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