Beautiful Misery |1

18. BROKEN BY MISERY

Staring at my screen, I clenched my jaw. Kyle had drunk texted me a bunch of shit over the last few years, most of it crude as fuck but nothing like this. Was this some kind of joke? Looking past the shocking grammatical errors and typos, I flexed my free hand at my side.  "If you fuck him, we're gunna have problems." Grating out his text, I furiously typed my own message to the prick.

'If you think we didn't have problems before than fucking good luck with your delusions. Don't fucking text me again, prick.'

Switching my mobile off, I stuffed the small device back into my pocket. Fuming, I slapped my palms against the concrete wall. Behind my rage was the glaring presence of guilt. Had Rayne of not stopped me this morning, I would have slept with him. I would have cheated on Kyle. Ashamed, I shook my head. I was now more determine to move out of Rayne's home. Breathing out slowly, I combed my fingers through my hair. "Gia, you okay?" Macy's comforting voice forced me to turn around.

Without another word she wrapped her arms around me. Burying my face against her shoulder, I smiled softly. "Thanks."

"Anytime." Squeezing me once, she released me. "What's going on? Why were you looking for Rayne?" Leaning against the waist high wall, she hooked our arms at the elbows.

"I wasn't." Nodding suspiciously, she waited for me to elaborate. Sighing, I dropped my head to her shoulder. "It's just weird sharing a room with him. I need my own space." I tried to keep my reply as vague and believable as possible. Macy's superpower had been working overtime ever since we'd moved out here. Scanning me quickly she nodded, again suspiciously. "I'm not lying." I defended. I wasn't really lying, I was just leaving out a few important details— like I wanted to have sex with the guy.

Cupping my cheek she raised my head to face her. "Rayne's not a bad guy, Gia." I caught myself before I scoffed, because that was a joke if ever I heard one. Turning completely she pursed her lips together. "I mean, he's a man-whore with questionable taste in girls but he's good for you. He looks out for his friends." Smiling, she looked back into the cafeteria. "Joey said that as long as Rayne is around, no one can touch you...I believe him." She spoke hopefully. Turning back towards me she bumped our shoulders together. "It'll take some getting used to...letting someone in again." Her voice softened, almost as though she were afraid to mention my fragility.

Closing my eyes, I unwillingly returned to my earlier encounters with Mr Hale— I'd invited my own misery. He chipped away at my tough exterior and targeted the small child, who'd never known genuine compassion, within me. He exploited my every insecurity because I'd let him in. Pushing away from the wall forcefully, I bent down to collect my bag. Clenching my jaw I straightened. "I'll never make that mistake again." The determine response earned me a concerned look from Macy. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I turned my back to the cafeteria. "I have class, I'll talk to you later." My words felt distant and guarded.

"Gia, at least eat-" she started.

"Not hungry." I interrupted, already heading towards the library. Scanning the silent space, I noticed several small groups of students scattered across the well kept tables and chairs. Spotting an empty sofa area, I slumped down on the comfy furniture— dropping my bag beside me. Pulling out my large anatomy text book I set to work learning the human body and distracting myself.

Two hours and a splitting headache later, I rushed to my last class for the day. Trying to absorb something from the lesson, I gave up on note-taking about halfway through. The professor gave us our readings and made us aware of the lab sheets we were to complete for the commencing week of lab. Finding it difficult to operate without sating the hunger I'd selfishly dismissed earlier, I decided to study at home. Hauling my backpack into the car I cursed my textbooks a final time, for the day; strapping myself in I reversed out of the parking lot.