Beautiful Misery |1

39. PRICE OF MISERY

My heart and mind were at constant war, only in this moment alone were they at peace and in total agreement. Right or wrong my methods would succeed, Mr Hale's insanity needed to be solely held by me because too many had already suffered at his hand on my behalf. Rubbing my arms I shivered, there was a distinct sensation to being surveyed– the kind that made your skin crawl.

My body came jerking back into Rayne's ruthless form, his strong arm banding tightly around my waist. "You're not going anywhere." He finalised, the warm lashes of his breath against my skin almost saw me resigning. Squaring up Kyle gripped my wrist. Scoffing Rayne dismissed him as a worthy contender. "Don't make me fucking break it." Rayne's steely tone snaked its way down my spine.

"Kyle please-" my words came to an abrupt silence, pulling away from the curb– three houses up the street– a familiar vehicle rolled down the road. Slowing as it passed in front of  us. Following the tinted windows as they disappeared further down the street I expelled the breath I'd been holding forcefully.

Breaking out of Rayne's hold I retreated. "You have no fucking right Rayne- no label remember- we are nothing." I screamed, looking to Kyle I nodded once for him to follow. Knowing I could never forgive myself if Mr Hale harmed Rayne, I took hold of Kyle's hand. Guilt ate at me for using him this way, I was fully aware of the target I'd put on his back and could only beg for forgiveness later– not that I deserved it.

Distance was my only weapon, the only way I could protect the ones I loved. Sliding into Kyle's ride I fell back against the seat, gasping I let my tears stream. Necessary.

***
Having deviated from the road that lead back to the college, Kyle brought us up to the entrance of some serviced apartments. Turning to him as he swiped his keycard to the pad for underground parking, I questioned him. "Kyle I need to go to the dorms." Shrugging he reversed into a space near the elevators.

"We'll chill here for a bit, gotta be better than that place." Regarding the dorms with a shiver, he climbed out of the car. Sighing I followed, my eyes scanned the large concrete space thoroughly– cataloging each vehicle. The spaces were bound to fill up later on in the day, for now there were more empty lots then cars. Stepping into the metal box, we rode the elevator to the seventh floor. Leading me down the well maintained hall Kyle swiped his keycard against the furthers room pad.

Shouldering into the apartment, he shifted in silent gesture for me to enter. The atmosphere was something tense, thick with a heavy misunderstanding. The room door slowly locked on an automated click, as it did Kyle's arms wrapped around my waist. Tensing, I clenched my palms tightly. "Kyle...this isn't-"

"C'mon Gia, but old for hard to get games now." He mumbled into my neck, shivering in an unfamiliar disgust I broke free from his hold. Somehow this felt unfaithful to Rayne, even the thought of another man touching me felt like a betrayal. Folding his arms he sighed, his brows pricking with frustration. "What? Back there you were all in, now what." His bitter tone forced the distance I was slowly maintaining.

The answers I had were selfish and to some degree cruel, I had no right to pick and choose targets. My justifications began to fray, to shift the unstable intentions of a deranged psychopath onto anyone–let alone a man I'd once had some semblance of a relationship with–was shameful. I was barley able to meet my own gaze as it was, after this I feel nothing but revulsion staring into my own reflection.

Jamming his fingers through his hair, he crossed the apartment and retrieved an icy bottle of beer from the fridge. "There's a race soon, you gonna be on my arm?" Closing my eyes, I rubbed my arms.