Only If She Stayed

08. Lying to Yourself

I HAD TO ADMIT, during the boring car ride to the Orson High party, the journey there couldn't have been any more nerve racking.

Michael asked me if I wanted to go with him in his mom's car, but that just irked Edgar more. He was inside his vehicle when Michael made that suggestion. And to show that he had in fact heard him say it, Edgar let the engine of his car roar, "I want to leave." He yelled out his window.

That was how I got stuck riding with him.

We reached the party ten minutes after nine. Edgar managed to locate a parking spot for his car without a problem.

"We should wait for Michael to get a spot and go in together," I offered, but Edgar only laughed at the request and linked his arm with mine.

"How about no," he said bluntly. "I'm not waiting for that four-eyed freak."

"You're so immature," I snickered.

The gas station trip had somehow made him raise his level in annoyance. I knew having Michael here wasn't what he wanted, but I wished he could see how happy my closest and oldest friend made me.

I never tried to stop Edgar from having friends. Everyone on the dance team knew how much I disliked Tyler, Edgar's best friend, but I didn't ever go up to him and make him end that friendship.

Who was I to demand that from him? I didn't have the authority; honestly no one should have the authority to control who you associate yourself with. That power should be in your hands.

Edgar didn't see it that way, and it disappointed me the more I saw his possessiveness seep through the cracks in his personality. I feared that this characteristic would spill into his other qualities, changing him from the guy I loved years ago.

One thing that I didn't mind staying the same was how Edgar took hold of a room, demanding space and obtaining it with such ease. We sliced through the thick hordes of partygoers, dashing past them. I was too self-conscious to do what he did. I would've said excuse me twenty times before reaching where I was going.

"Tyler and the boys said they were near kitchen," Edgar shouted over the music.

Ugh. Tyler wasn't someone I wanted to see right now. I was still pretty angry at Edgar for what he did.

Despite that, I held my tongue and mustered a faux smile as we got to the archway of the kitchen area. Like Edgar had told me, Tyler actually was in the kitchen, sitting calming on the countertop with a girl - who definitely wasn't his girlfriend.

"Ty!" Edgar yelled, letting go of my hand and throwing his arms in the air. Ty sprang to his feet and bumped fists when they met in the center of the kitchen. "Who else is here?"

"Cam came, and so did Jessie," he replied. "I think Cam is in the back yard though. He's with Reagan."

I had forgotten that Reagan was coming. From the sound of it, the latest basketball player recruited on to the team may be starting something serious with her. I hoped she was having a good time with him - and not pretending I was.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Tyler asked, just as Michael emerged into view. We locked eyes and I waved at him. "No, Rose. Why the hell are you making him come?"

"Shut-up, Tyler." I hissed. My agreement with Edgar, coupled with the way Tyler the Fuckboy was talking about Michael pissed me off. "I'd like for you find the sharpest object near you and kindly shove it up your a- "

"Rose," Edgar growled. "What's gotten into you?"

"He's the one who started it." I countered. "Besides, I'm tired of you both saying bad things about him as if you know him. You haven't even given him a chance."

"Okay. I will," Edgar said, half-meaning it.

Michael broke out of the crowd and strolled into the kitchen with his hands in his military-styled jacket that I liked on him. It was dyed blue and really brought out the color in his eyes.

Out of luck, I spotted Reagan step into the house from the back yard, accompanied by a dark-haired boy.

"Rose! You came," she said gleefully. When she got close enough, she pulled me into a tight embrace after saying a greeting.

"You came back at the perfect time," Tyler chimed, slapping his hands together and rubbing them. "We we're going to start a game of kiss-and-blow."

"No, we're not," Edgar said, and I was immensely grateful. I always worried the card would fall - hence why I'd only played it once. "If you do, Rose and I aren't doing it."

"C'mon, please," Tyler begged. "You can at least try if she can't."

"Not in a million years," Edgar refused, confidently putting his arm on shoulder and drawing me in. "I'm not interested in playing."

"Kiss-and-blow is disgusting. I'm not about to kiss a card everyone else put their mouth on," Reagan added. "It was cool in the movie Clueless, but I'm not about to get herpies because of a party game."

"Fine, I hear you." Tyler swept his eyes across the small circle we had formed around him. "I have a better idea."

Instantly, when he said that, I knew it wasn't going to end well.

This was going to be a long night.

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