Only If She Stayed

16. Honestly

Rose's P.O.V.

I DIDN'T GET a wink of sleep. When Michael came back from dropping off Ashton, I went with him to his place and occupied the guest bedroom in the Sinclair house.

I was going to thank Michael's mother for letting me stay, but she was in bed by the time her son came back and invited me in. I would have to save that thank you for when I woke up.

I was wide awake, but any desire to leave the bed was disregarded. A harsh wind made the branches in front of my window rattle and shake against the glass. The howling of the wind kept me tossing in my sheets, drawing the blankets up over my head and setting one of the two pillows on my ear to block off the sound. It was useless; it didn't shut out the noise as I had hoped and expected it to.

"Rose?"

I craned my neck, peeking out from under the blanket. "Oh, hey, Michael." The duvet fell to my lap as I raised up to a sitting position. "What is it?"

His wireframed glasses were absent from his face. I never decided if I liked him with or without them on. I'd always known him as someone who wore glasses, even as kids. I figured they suited him in a good way. And that wasn't to say he didn't look nice without them on. Quite the contrary. The blue in his irises took on a deeper form without the distraction of the glasses.

"I didn't want to bring this up with Ashton here." He imparted, rubbing the back of his neck. "I want to tell you that if there's anything you need to talk about –regarding what went on at the party with Edgar—I'm here for you."

I smiled. "Thank you."

"I hope I didn't wake you up."

"You didn't." I got on to my elbows, resting backwards. "I can't sleep."

"Because of what happened?"

"No." I knocked my head back, studying the ceiling. "I mean yes. I don't know. Maybe."

"That's not a very clear answer," Michael voiced. I could sense the confusion in his tone. I heard his footsteps reached the side of the bed and when I glanced back down from the ceiling, he was at the foot of the bed. "Need a hug?"

"Desperately." Throwing the duvet away, I crawled out from underneath it and went to where he was. I rested my head on his shoulder, holding on his waist as his arms coiled around me. "I don't need you to say it."

"Say what?"

"Say that you saw this coming."

"I did," he said knowingly. "But I'm not going to wave that in your face. You've gone through enough in the last couple of hours. Is it messed up if I say I'm glad you dumped him?"

I scoffed into his shoulder, nuzzling my head in closer. "It's too soon."

"I thought so. . . " he started to say. "Can I ask you something without you getting mad?"

I reeled back so I could see the expression on his face. "What would make you think I'd be mad?"

"Because of what I want to ask."

"Ask me. I won't be mad."

He took a sharp intake of air. "Is this an official breakup or are you only saying that because your disappointed in him? Because if you're going to take him back—"

"I'm not taking him back." I cut in.

"You said that during your break...and the time before that. Like a boomerang, he tends to always come back around."

"This isn't like before." I said, more for my own benefit and not Michael's. Uncertainty trailed behind every break up, questioning the choice I made. The uncertainty came from one specific place: the fear of being alone.

"You're mad." He studied me with intensive, somber eyes. "I know when you're mad."

"I'm not mad. I'm thinking," I sighed, making it known. "I wouldn't say I'm jumping with joy with what happened tonight. Edgar has been in my life since Freshman year. We were friends for a year before we started dating."

"He hasn't made things better since then. He's made it more stressful."

"More or less," I responded, returning my head to his chest. It didn't feel awkward being in this intimate with him. I had broken many boundaries with Michael since we first became acquainted. "Since you asked me something, can I do the same?"

"Go ahead."

"You're not going to be defensive?"

He snickered. "I rarely am defensive. What is it you want to know?"

"You can correct me if I'm wrong," I informed, "but did you meet someone new today? I think I saw you at the party with a girl I've never seen before."

I made my voice low and even, not wanting to come off as jealous or too bothered by him with another girl.

"Oh, yeah, I did meet someone. She goes to our high school. Her name's Lilly and she's a sophomore."

"Did you...hang out with her for a long time? Did you trade numbers?"

Michael pulled back and peered at me, smirking. "Why, are you jealous?"

Maybe I wasn't doing the best at keeping my emotions in check. I broke our embrace.

"I'm curious. That's it. Did you trade numbers with her?"

"No, we didn't trade numbers, but I did find out that we share ceramics together."

"That's your last period, right?"

"Yeah, it is. I didn't know I had the class with her. It's a huge class and I sit in the front."

"Of course you sit in the front. Nerd," I teased.

"You have a higher GPA than me so I don't know how that's true." He addressed. "And if there's anyone who should be asking intrusive questions like this, it should be me. You spent two hours with Ashton in a dark room."

"False. I did not spend two hours with him in a dark room."

"It felt like two hours."

"It was more like an hour and a few minutes," I corrected him. "And we weren't in the room. We were outside of the room, sitting on the roof."

He gave me a funny look. "Why would you do that?"

"It was his suggestion. The party was getting loud and obnoxious. I didn't want to go back downstairs," I added. "We only talked. I wouldn't have cheated on Edgar."

"I know you wouldn't. I was kidding."

"I get that you weren't serious, but that might not be what everyone else at school will say. Tyler saw the whole thing and you know how much of a big mouth he has. He gossips like one of those annoying Reality TV personalities."

I was giving Tyler more credit than he needed. Those celebrities at least did it for money, whereas Tyler loved the drama he could create by spreading stories and ruining reputations. Edgar didn't join in, but I blamed him for letting it go on and not criticizing him for it.

Whoever said guys don't get involved in rumor spreading probably never met someone like Tyler in their life. And if so, they were lucky.

I could feel the overwhelming tsunami of troubles coming my way. Leaving Edgar was the first hit to my heart, and now I had to survive the hardest part.

Getting over him.