Boarding with the Bad Boy [COMPLETE + BONUS published edition]

Hollinger

It's the Monday of Thanksgiving and I'm standing in front of Ryder's Hollinger building. I think about Sam's mom making all her money and actually wanting to donate a building to Ryder. It makes me want to laugh, knowing that I've never hated a place so much, but that I'll always feel tied to it because of her son. And I have to admit it to myself: I burn with need for Sam. But this chapter must be closed.

I met with Jill last night and explained myself. She didn't make me feel like shit, which is just another reason why Jill is a million times the person I am, and the best girlfriend I could ever ask for. When I had told her everything—from Talulah's through Sam's surprise appearance at Ryan's—she squeezed me to her and said she'd have my back no matter what came next. I thanked her through tears, because I'm pretty sure what comes next is going to suck.

I heave a deep breath. I'm not just standing in front of Hollinger for no good reason. I have a mission, and I need to complete it before I lose my courage. I pull my backpack higher onto my shoulder, the same action I took just before I walked into MacMillan the first time, and I march into Hollinger Hall, a one-woman wrecking machine.

When I enter Headmaster Carr's office, the impeccable blonde I'm used to seeing is missing. Beth Armstrong is in her place, gazing up at me with a "how can I help you?" look on her face. It takes me more than a second to compose myself, and I clear my throat twice before I stutter out that I'm looking for Carr. Beth smiles at me—a nice smile—and walks behind her desk, moving toward the door that I know leads to Carr's office.

"What are you doing here?" I blurt before I can stop myself.

Beth glances back and gives an easy shrug. "Work study."

"But I've never seen you here before."

"Well, of course not. You may think of yourself as a delinquent, Logan, but you don't even hit Carr's top twenty." She winks at me then, and turns back to the heavy door leading into our headmaster's office. I realize I'm shaking. The last time I was here, I was being involuntarily and unceremoniously kicked out of Ryder. Today I'm here to remove myself.

Beth returns a moment later. "He's ready for you," she says. Then, as I pass, "good luck."

I want to hug the girl, and the instinct surprises me. "Thank you," I whisper, placing a clammy hand on the heavy door and pushing it open. I take a deep breath in through my mouth, and close my eyes. Here goes nothing.

Carr isn't facing me. His high-backed leather chair is turned toward the bookshelves behind his desk and I falter. I was prepared to say my piece and walk, that's it. To have to introduce myself...

I clear my throat. Twice.

"Uh, Headmaster Carr?" I ask finally.

Only then does Carr turn in his chair, and it takes me too long to understand it's not Carr in that winged, regal seat, but Sam, gazing at me with his perfect gray eyes.

"What?" I say. I glance at the door to my back. I'm closed in. "You're not—?"

Sam understands my lack of English.

"I told you I needed to see you," he says softly.

"But Beth—"

"Helped convince Carr that an urgent matter on the third floor required his attention, and that she could watch his office in the meantime."

"An urgent matter—"

Sam looks at me seriously. "Unfortunately, Raffi and Nick seem to have passed out in the boys' locker room after drinking too much last night."

"Raffi and Nick..." my voice is barely a breath. I can't comprehend what's going on, and Sam seems to sense it.

"I needed to see you, Grey. To apologize." He pushes away from the desk and stands, coming toward me. I hold a hand out against his approach.

"Wait," I say. "Not ready." Why I can't form coherent phrases is beyond me, but my lack of cohesion grows when the door behind me opens and I spin to find Jared standing there.

"No," I say, loudly. Sam moves quickly, putting his body between Jared and me. I back into Carr's desk, still confused and nervous. I haven't seen Jared since the night at Talulah's, and my body reacts to him more strongly than I imagined. I want to shout and lash out.

Sam's speaking. He's telling me that Jared is here because he has something important to say to me. He looks at Jared meaningfully and I notice that Jared's eyes are bloodshot, and the bridge of his nose is a nasty yellow. It doesn't take a genius to know why.

I still when he starts to speak. "I want to apologize," he's saying. His voice is low and his eyes are downcast.

"For what?" Sam asks. It makes me jump, and I clench my fingers against Carr's desk—a raft in a turbulent sea.

"For what happened last Saturday," Jared mutters.

"What happened last Saturday?" My eyes shoot to Sam. He's pressing Jared, his gaze hard on the sixth form boy. Jared closes his eyes as if he's in pain.

"I put my hands on you in a way I—" Jared clears his throat and Sam makes a motion, spurring him on. "I shouldn't have touched you like that."

I find my voice. "You assaulted me." It comes out quietly and I hear all my shame and self-doubt in that one phrase.

Jared's eyes lift to me, an ugly look on his face. "Yeah."

I'm surprised by the admission and I hear myself asking, "Why?"

"What do you mean?" Jared looks pained.

"What would have happened if Sam hadn't come around the corner?"

Jared looks away then, shrugs his shoulders. His pretty nose wrinkles. "Dunno," he says finally.

"Of course you do," Sam snaps. "Say it."

Both Jared's and my gaze flash to Sam, but Jared speaks into his demand. "We wanted to teach you a lesson."

"What lesson?" Sam asks, voice hard. I feel like I'm once again caught in the auditorium, illicitly listening to his argument with Brandon. But Jared's a thousand times weaker than Brandon.

"The lesson that you can't just flirt and tease and get away with it."

"I didn't—"

"Maybe not in your mind. But for us guys, your presence was a problem. We wanted you to know that. We wanted you to stop. Stop waltzing through the dorm and the school like you belonged. You don't belong here."

The tears in my eyes are as much from anger as they are from hurt. "So, what?" I ask. "You were going to show me that how?"

Jared's eyes shift back to the ground.

"Weaver." Sam's voice is so angry a shiver runs up my spine.

"I did what I did, Logan. I wanted it to go further. I wanted you to want it, obviously, but even if you didn't..."

I don't finish the sentence for him, nor does Sam. Jared gives the latter a quick nod and turns, walking quickly to the door and disappearing behind it. My gaze lifts to meet my former roommate's. His eyes are shining, bright with anger and disgust. I'm wondering if mine look the same way when the door opens a second time and a voice that makes me retch echoes into the large room.

"Come the fuck on." Brandon stands with his arms crossed, looking at me even as he directs his question at Sam. "What're you getting at with this?"