Carl Grimes/Chandler Riggs Imagines *EDITING*

He Breaks Down

I was in my cell at the prison just laying on my bed. I was staring up at the ceiling, thinking about how shitty this world had become. My thoughts were interrupted by a knock. I looked to see that it was Carl.
    "Hey" he greeted me as he walked in.
    "Hi" I greeted back and I moved over so he could lay beside me.
    He got in the spot next to me and wrapped his arms around me. I laid my head on his chest and he held me close.
   "Have you ever thought that there was a life beyond this one?" I asked. Carl sighed softly as he rubbed circles in my back.
    "I've thought about it, yes. I really hope there is" he answered.
    I looked up at him. "Do you think that if we survive long enough that everything will be okay? That we'll actually have a life and be able to have kids and grow old?" I questioned.
    Carl looked down at me and smiled slightly. He moved a strand of hair that was in my face and tucked it behind my ear and he gently cupped my cheek.
    "With you, Y/N, I have a future. As long as you're here, by my side, there is a future for us. If things don't get better then that's okay. We have each other and that's all that matters" he told me. 
    I smiled slightly and leaned up, pressing my lips gently to his. He kissed me back and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. I moved my body to press against his and wrapped my arms around his neck. Our lips move in sync as we continued to make out.
    "Woah, okay. You guys know that this prison isn't private, right?" Glenn's voice interrupted us. I giggle and Carl and I pulled away and I looked at Glenn and scoffed.
   "Says the guy who has sex on top of the tower" I joked. Glenn stared at me, his mouth ajar.
    "How did you-okay you got me there" he chuckled. Carl laughed and we both sat up. "I'll just leave you two love birds alone" he said awkwardly before walking out.
    I couldn't help but chuckle as I looked back at Carl. He was looking at me.
    "What is it?" I asked, tiling my head.
    "You're just so beautiful" he whispered as he gently caressed my cheek. I smiled at him and leaned into his touch.
   "I love you" I whispered back.
    "I love you too" Carl said, looking into my eyes. I smiled and leaned in. He leaned in too and once again our lips connect. I smiled against his lips and pulled away.
    "We should head down the stairs to see what we're doing today" I told him. He nodded and we stood up, making our way down the stairs.

•••

I haven't seen Carl for what seemed like hours. "Hey, Glenn, have you seen Carl?" I asked as I walked up to him. He shook his head.
    "No, I don't think so. I haven't seen him" he said. I nodded and then made my way towards Rick.
    "Hey, have you seen Carl?" I asked him.
"Yeah, I think he went up to the tower to keep watch" he told me.
    I nodded once again and then made my way up to the tower. Once there, I saw Carl leaned against the railing, staring out towards the walkers. I studied him for a minute and he looked broken and so sad.
   "This is how it'll always be, huh?" Carl asked, sensing my presence I suppose.
    "Maybe not always," I answered, "it might be years before something changes, hell, maybe even a decade but it might not be like this forever." I walked towards Carl and stood beside him.
   "I just don't have hope anymore" he whispered.
   I grabbed his hand and turned him around to look at me. Once my eyes connected to his blue ones he turned away, ashamed. "You said to me today that with me there was a future. You said that if things don't get better then it's okay. We have each other and that's all that matters, remember?" I reminded him.
    Carl wiped away a tear that was in mid fall. I hadn't seen Carl cry in so long. It was foreign to me. I wanted to hold him. I wanted him to let out all of his feelings and just cry.
    "How many more people do we have to lose before there actually is a future?" He choked out. I could tell that he tried desperately not to cry. "I lost my mother to child birth, Y/N. I had to shoot her. Me. I did. I lost half the people that had joined us here in the prison. We lost everyone and it's a matter of time before I lose you too or my dad" he began to cry.
    Seeing him break down made my heart shatter. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do that'll make it all better, so I did what I could do. I pulled him into my arms and held him. We slid down to the floor and I held Carl close as he nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck and cried. I rocked him gently and stroked his hair softly.
    "You don't always have to be strong. Once in awhile you're allowed to let your guard down. It's okay to cry and it's okay to feel scared" I whispered in his ear as I continued to rock him. He began to cry more. All the pain and the tears he had held in all came out all at once. I knew he needed to let go and to cry. All he needed was someone to comfort him.
    I hummed softly as his crying began to subside. I continued to rock him gently and stroke his hair which seemed to have calmed him down. Soon enough, Carl stopped crying all together and he just stayed in my arms, his face still buried in the crook of my neck. I whispered sweet nothings in his ear as hummed.
    "If you keep doing that, I might just fall asleep" Carl mumbled. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled my body closer towards him.
    I chuckled softly and ran my fingers through his hair. "You can fall asleep. I'll keep watch" I tell him and I could feel him close his eyes and I gently hummed again, looking out at the walkers.
    Carl had fallen asleep and I just sat there, holding him and watching the walkers as they growled against the fence. "This is our life now" I whispered to myself, "we will survive."