So after that day I guess you could say that Matt and I was a couple. We hadn't really said that that was what we were but we sure acted like one. Yeah we was a couple.
It had been a quite big shock for the guys at first. Well I would be shocked too if I'd find us on the floor all tangled up in each other too if I was them. But they'd gotten pretty used by the sight of us two now.
I was more confused than ever though. I'd been with the guys for three months now and I had no idea what to do. I didn't want to go back to the club but at the same time was that the only thing I wanted. But I wanted the guys to come with me. And I knew that it could never happen because Al wanted them dead. And he wanted to see results. Like now.
"We can always fake our death", Jimmy said when we all sat in the living room and talked about what we would do about this whole situation.
"You know that we have to quit everything we do then? Start a new life somewhere else", Matt said. "No more Avenged Sevenfold."
"But what other choice do we have?" Johnny said. "Jaclyn can't get back to her club if we're not dead and we can't let her actually kill us."
"But I don't want to go back if that means that I can't be with Matt", I said. "It's not worth it then."
"Then what should we do?" Brian asked.
"I don't know… If I only can get Al to accept that you're all nice guys then maybe he'll forget about everything."
"Do you really think so?" Matt asked.
"No but it's worth a try?" I said.
"No it isn't. If it would be worth a try then we would have done that a long time ago. This just won't end good", Zacky said.
It was the first time he'd spoken to me in three months.
We stopped the conversation there. We wasn't going anywhere. We decided to just finish the last shows of the tour and then for real decide what to do.
Instead we decided to hit the town. I still had no idea where we were but it was a big city somewhere.
"Let's eat", Johnny said.
"We just ate on the bus", Matt said.
"But… food", Johnny said.
"I think we should do as Johnny says. I mean come on, what can beat food?" I said.
"You eat more than a guy", Matt said.
"So? Let's eat!" I said and we walked around for a while until we decided where we would eat.
Well Johnny and I were the only ones who ate while the guys just sat there and wanted to move on. So of course we took our time.
We sat there until it was time for us to head back to the venue where the guys would play that night. The show would start in just an hour. The opening band was just heading out on the stage. It had been three months and I still didn't know who they were. But I had mostly stayed at the bus and not been able to meet so many people at all. Then guys was still trying to keep me hidden even though they didn't say anything to me. They were still afraid that people would find out that they were hanging with someone from Brothers of Sin.
"Let's go for a ride", I said to Matt as they'd finished the show.
"Where?" he asked.
"Don't know. Just go somewhere on the bike", I said.
"Okay, but only for an hour, we don't want the bus to go without us", he smiled.
"Okay", I smiled and we then went to my bike.
I sat down and started the engine, man it felt good to hear that sound. I hadn't been on the bike for three months! Matt sat down behind me and I drove away.
I found out through the signs that we were in Canada. I had no idea where to go so I just drove around on the roads until I found a lake in the middle of nowhere where I stayed.
We sat down on the ground and looked out over the lake.
"It's so beautiful here", I said. "So quiet."
"Yeah, quiet doesn't happen everyday", Matt said.
"I could get used to it. It's never a quiet moment at the club. Maybe that's why I don't want to go back sometimes."
"Then just don't go back there? Stay with us and just call that Al guy and say that you don't want to be in that club anymore", he said.
"Can't do that", I said.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because I need the club as much as it needs me. That club is my life. I don't know what to do without it", I said.
"You just said that you don't miss it."
"Sometimes. I don't miss it sometimes. But I don't know. I don't know how life is if you're not in a club. And that's the only family I have left. That's my home and I can't just leave it like that", I said.
"I don't think I'll ever understand that", he said. "I mean… that's a really criminal club that does some pretty bad shit. Why would you want to be there?"
"Because that's a part of my life. I've done that bad shit. I don't know if you get it, but I've killed people Matt. I'm just as bad as everyone in that club, if not ever worse since I'm the one who got all those jobs. And I hate it, believe me, but it's something I have to do to protect my family."
"Protect them from what? And they're all grown men, I think they can protect themselves", he said.
"We live in two different worlds Matt. The first night I spend on this bus was the first night that I slept the whole night through without being afraid that someone would come into my room at night and kill me. That's the threat we in the club has over us the entire time. There is always someone out there who wants us gone. Other clubs, the cops. We're never really safe and that's why we need someone that'll have our backs when something happens."
"Yeah you're right, I don't get it. When I look at you, I see this, sure badass, but loving girl. The girl I love. That patch you walk around with on your west don't mean anything to me. I don't see anything of what you just told me in your eyes. That's why I can't understand it", he said.
"I love you too", I smiled and kissed him. "I'll talk to Al, try to make him see that what he wants is not worth the effort. Because I can't be without you."
