I Want You(Jason McCann)

Chapter 13

That is the song to the chapter guys but don't play it yet I'll let you know when! Hope you all enjoy!
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Jason's POV

I wish everything could just go as planned. If I could plan something and know, for sure, that everything would go as planned, I would never worry about anything. However, we do not have a clue about the future. You don't know what's going to happen in the next day, hour, or even second. I don't know why everything has to be complicated.

Why do my hands sweat a little when I'm around Hailey? Why do I trip over my words when I try to talk to her? I never get nervous but when it comes to her, I can't help myself. Hailey has this aura that surrounds her. Her smile can light up a whole room. 

She makes me feel things I didn't even know was possible to feel. Especially with my terrible ability to show emotion. She makes me want to do backflips and scream from every rooftop in California.

Hailey makes me happy. She is like an escape from reality, whether it is good or bad. She can turn my rain to sunshine.

I hate having these feelings but then again, I love it. When I feel these emotions, it makes me mad. I don't want to feel anything. I am a cold-hearted murderer and I know I don't deserve Hailey's love. However, I still fight for it. Hailey has a warm and loving spirit and I don't deserve her.

When I first laid eyes on Hailey, I knew I had to have her. She was the most beautiful and most precious thing I had ever seen. Her walk could capture anyone's eye and her talk could grab the world's attention. Gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, pretty. None of those words can describe the beauty Hailey holds. She is so light and delicate and I broke her.

I hurt her. Multiple times at that. I would not be surprised if she hates me. I laid hands on her and I do not ever plan to do it again. I love to be in control. Power means everything to me. Without it, I'm not Jason McCann but sometimes I let it get to my head. This power and control that I feel I need, caused me to hurt her.

I broke Hailey the day I beat her unconscious. The day I caused her to try and take her own life. I was scared out of my mind. If I had lost her that day I don't know what I would have done. I could never hurt her like that again. She means too much to me.

I hope that after today she can forgive me. Forgive me for all the things I've done to her. If she doesn't, I don't know what I'll do. She means everything to me. I just hope my ego doesn't stop me from showing her how I feel. I'm not one for mushy lovey dovey things but if it means I'll at least earn a part of her trust I'll gladly be the most mushy gushy guy on earth.

Happiness is something I haven't had since I was six but I can sure as hell say that my mood has changed a lot since I've had Hailey. I don't show it. I don't show emotion at all. Honestly, I think I do not know how to show emotion or feelings. Hailey, she can change all that for me.

Hailey can show me how to love someone properly. She's the teacher and I am the student. I'm ready to be taught how to love and care for someone other than myself. Moreover, I am ready for that someone to be Hailey.

I'm taking her out tonight and I am going to try my hardest to show her something at least. If I am going to earn her trust I've got to impress her first right.

The guys are leaving for their 'club time' as they call it. They leave at eleven exactly every night. They should be leaving right about-

"It's club time bitches!" Cal squealed. I swear the dude is gay but no one listens to me. I can hear the guys groaning from Cal's outburst.