Impractical Jokers Requests Book

Dear Joe, Q, Murr and Sal

This next chapter is going to be a little more personal to me. I feel ready to express why I love the guys so much and I apologise if this chapter isn't fun to read...

Dear Joe, Q, Murr and Sal,

Thank you. Thank you for every little laugh, every little smile, every little glimmer of happiness you have ever caused me. You are the reason I can continue to live my life, knowing that I have an escape route, if need be. Those days when I just want to get away from the world, there you are, waiting for me.

Your laughs are a mixture of angelic sound waves, which coil and twist into my ears. They become contagious, to the point where I'm on the floor in a fit of laughter. Your smiles light up the room, removing any darkness that could swallow me up whole, at any given point.

Those days when I'm down, and feel as though the world is upon my shoulders...that's when I think of you most. I see you on my screen, and the demons terrorising me vanish instantly. I no longer fear them. I no longer fear their wicked tricks, as they try to overwhelm my mind, but to no avail. You know why? You four. You four are the guardians I ask for daily. I know you'll be there, guiding me to a happier life.

I watch, as I see you grow and gain the experience you truly deserve. I couldn't be more proud. Even though I'm on the other side of the pond, I think of you. I spend my nights, dreaming of the day I finally meet you. Oh, the things I'd say. Alas, it's not that simple. Not when you're living a life where your mind speaks profoundly, but the words become trapped and swallowed whole, for I cannot speak. I cannot speak when the anxiety sews my mouth shut tight, not letting even a puff of air escape my lips. I so desperately want to speak my mind, tell you why I'm so in love with you, without the feeling of judgement or hatred towards me.

I think of you, when the bullies aggravate and push my buttons. When they feel as though I am inferior, when in fact, we are all equal. I think of what you'd do, if you were stood beside. Would you hold my hand and guide me to safety? Would you take me aside and teach me your wisdom? Would you fight my battles for me? I'll never know. For the bullies are too strong. Their mind games seep into my brain, controlling the ounce of motivation I have left. The self-confidence I once owned, just thrown out of the window.

It's not good for me to let these demons take control of my every move, but I am just a weak bundle of bones and skin, awaiting my next order. I am vulnerable. I am weak. I am broken. At least I thought I was, until you stitched me together again. You showed me to the light awaiting at the end of the tunnel. You taught me how to see the positive side to every story, even if it seems impossible.

I am no longer vulnerable. I am no longer weak. I am no longer broken inside.

I am me.

A survivor.

All thanks to you four.

I am happy. I am strong. I am me.

Depression, anxiety, bullies, y'all can suck it. For I am me.