Love, Honey

#12 *SS - Things that happened in the past

People were sitting, all somehow facing each other and listening to what they have to say. Rial is one of those people, she's part of this circle of helpless, young human beings, all her attention on the social worker leading this group. She hasn't been part of this group for too long, it was only her fifth time attending, she hasn't even found the courage yet to speak up and tell her story. Today she was determined to change that. She lifted her hand after taking a deep breath.

"I'm Rial and I'm depressed."

"Hi, Rial."

"My story starts a little while back, I was only 11 at the time...

I lived with my parents, but they were rarely home. They didn't notice that something was wrong when they came home from work. Maybe that was the reason why I spiralled downwards at such a fast pace. I had no friends at school, I had to manage the household on my own and I didn't know how. At first it was fine, I just noticed that my grades were dropping and I didn't have enough lunch money. I started losing weight at a dangerously fast rate, but nobody seemed to notice. The teachers didn't care, why would they? There are many kids these days trying to reach the "bikini body" or "model body". They just thought I did the same."

Rial took another deep breath. This time it was quite shaky. Her eyes were shut, she was anxious about the reaction she might get. The social worker let her have a moment before asking her to keep going. Rial opened her eyes and continued.

"One day my mother told me that she wouldn't be coming home anymore. She had found this guy and she decided she liked him more than my father and I. So, she left. MY father couldn't take it and jumped of his work building, a bureau with 31 stories. I was 16 when he jumped, old enough to not be taken to a foster home, yet too young to love on my own. They had a heated debate whether they would send me to my mother and her boy toy or whether I could live completely independently. They decided on the latter. I was glad I got to stay where I grew up, but my life got even worse every day I was on my own, living independently. I got even thinner, I didn't talk, my sleep decreased. In a nutshell: My life got turned around within a couple of years and I was in no condition to live."

She had to stop again. The room was quiet, everyone was waiting for Rial to continue. So, she did.

"I tried to take my own life. Three times. Needless to say, I failed. I failed every single time. I had to agree to show up here three times a week and have some personal therapy sessions the remaining days. I feel like I don't have a place in this society and I just don't get why I'm not allowed to just leave like my father did."

Rial burst into tears, sobbing loudly while hiding her face in her hands. The others in the room let her be until she managed to hold her tears back and calmed down a little bit.

"Rial, thank you for sharing. I can assure you that we will do everything in our power to help you. Once you feel better you will understand why you "failed" the three times you tried to leave everything in this world behind. Life is beautiful, you might not see it right now, but once this darkness, the memories stop clouding your mind and you can start living a normal way you will realize that "failing" was the best thing that could have happened.

Now everyone, the time is up, but please, feel free to converse, take a seat and hang out. I will be here for another two hours if there's something weighing you down your heart. I'd be happy to help you out. Have a nice day, I will see you in our next session."

Rial immediately got up, gathered her belongings and left the room in a hurry. She needed time to process what she had just shared and what the social worker told her.

A/N

Hello everybody,

Before I get started let me quickly tell you that the story Rial told is fictional, this has not, I repeat, HAS NOT happened to me. I live with my parents, they're alive and well, so before anyone gives me condolences I thought I'd just clear this up first thing.

This short story I wrote on the anniversary of the day I got admitted into the Psychosomatic Clinic last year. So it's actually about 2 months old, I just didn't feel like posting it earlier.

Now to the me-updating-late issue... Saying sorry won't cut it, I know. But it's the only thing I can do... I think I will have to change my schedule too, because I have so much stuff to do on Saturdays and I can't seem to get anything social media related done. So I'll be changing the day of my uploads. I hope I get a new story part up every Sunday, I will not specify at what time exactly, but I will try to get one up sometime each Sunday. Hopefully that helps me and you guys.

But for now, please never forget that I love you and that I will always be there for you. You can always drop by my inbox, leave a message on my message board or simply comment. I will be there and help you to the best of my abilities. Or I will just listen. Or I will goof around with you. Whatever you desire. Just know you can come to me basically anytime.

Love, Honey