Fearful Plans

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I walked into Gerard's classroom that afternoon, when everybody left.

I saw him packing up all of his things. From posters to supplies, this was it.

He peeked over his shoulder when I stood the doorway. He was taking down his Misfits poster, which nearly broke my heart.

"Hey," Gerard mumbled, barely audible.

"Hey," I replied. I set my backpack down on the floor, carefully. Making sure it didn't make a noise.

"Need any help?" I asked innocently. He turned his head to me, and paused for a dew seconds.

"I'm just about done," Gerard said, scrolling up his poster.

"Oh, okay."

I sat down at my desk and twiddled my thumbs around. I didn't know what to feel. I was numb, not knowing how to deal with anything anymore.

This was all my fault, and I knew it. He would still have his job if it wasn't for me. He wouldn't have any drama. He wouldn't have to be careful about our relationship, and how we live.

What we have is dangerous. He's my teacher, and I'm his student.

Well, I guess now we're okay. Considering the fact that he isn't my teacher anymore. I mean, I'm eighteen. I guess if I was seventeen it would make a difference.

Gerard flung open drawers of his desk and took out everything. He stuffed all of the pencils, pens, and other supplies into bags.

He left all of the paints and other art things there in the classroom. They didn't belong to him, the school had given them to him when he started out.

It was so sad to see all of his stuff gone from the room. He gave it something special.

Gerard wasn't going to be my teacher anymore. I wouldn't have him watch after me during school, or be woth him for lunch.

School already sucked, now it's gonna suck more.

Gerard packed up his final things, and asked me to carry some bags put to his car.

As he said his final goodbye, we walked out. He glanced in through the little glass window on the door, and I could see water cover his hazel eyes.

As much as I was sad, I was also furious. I wanted to kick all of the chairs and desks in his room down. I wanted to get my anger out on something.

Anything.

I bet Gerard felt the same way, too.

We both got into his car and drove home.

It was a quick trip to his house, no more than ten minutes.

Both of us went up to Gerard's apartment. He slammed the door shut, and gripped both of his hands in his hair.

"Gah!" he growled.

"Gerard, please-" he interrupted me before I could tell him to stay calm.

"No! How will I be able to afford this apartment? Get food? Be able to support you?" he cried. Gerard collapsed to the kitchen floor, and put his face in his hands. His back was against the bottom cabinets.

How was he going to support me?

I lost all strength in my body. My hands weakened, and my shoulders mellowed.

"What am I going to do?!" His plead made me even more sorrowful. He lifted his head lifted out of his hands, and his face was wet from tears.

When I saw him crying, I cried too.

I wanted to throw up. Everything was making me sad, not eating was getting to me, and my emotions were swallowing me.

I couldn't stress how I was feeling.

I hugged Gerard, hoping it could make me happier.

It didn't.

He spread his hands across my back, and I did the same.

I cried into his shoulder, and he did the same.

I just want everything to be okay. Where my family wasn't blown up and where dating Gerard wasn't the end of the world.

Wow, this scene was as dramatic as the titanic movie.

***

That night we calmed ourselves down by watching TV. It didn't completely clear our heads, but it helped.

Then, out of nowhere, I remembered.

My birthday was tomorrow.

Yes, tomorrow. Out of all of the days, it was tomorrow.

I had to tell Gerard. I can't not tell him it's my birthday.

"Hey, Gerard," I quietly said.

"Yeah?" Gerard turned his head over to me.

"I know it's not the best timing, but tomorrow's my birthday. You don't have to do anything for me, really. I just thought I should tell you," I revealed.

Oh gosh, I hope he doesn't flip.

I was surprised, he didn't flip out on me, all he said was "Alright. I'll let you play hooky tomorrow."

Okay, that's good. I'll be able to skip school tomorrow. It'll be a good day, right?

"Thanks Gee," I said. I kissed his cheek, and he smiled.

"But one thing," he added. "Let me take you out."

Out?

"Where?" I gasped. I hated going out.

"Maybe we can crash a halloween party or something. Haven't been too social in a while."

Great, a party. This was exactly what I don't want. But I had to make him happy. If that's what he wants to do, I can't let him down.

"Okay," I said. I pursed my lip.

"Yeah, it can take our minds off things, right?" Gerard asked. It actually seemed like he really wanted to party.

"Right," I assured.

I just hope this doesn't turn into a disaster.

***

(A/N) helloooo! i hope you liked this. make sure to give feedback! it means a lot! thanks!

xo

-laser candy

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