Not a Clue

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I sat down on top of the sleeping bag on the bench next to Judas. "What do you mean 'no place to go'?"

Judas sniffled. "My foster parents could care less about where I go."

Thoughts flooded my mind. There was so much I didn't know about Judas. He kept quiet about it all. I didn't even know he had foster parents.

"I've only been with them for a week and all they do is yell at me and act like I'm invisible. And now, this is where I am," he explained. God, this was horrible. Who could treat someone like that? Make a commitment to take care of a kid and just neglect them? How dare they.

Gerard sat down next to me, and wrapped his arm around my waist. He gripped my hip, trying to suck up his brokenness to this awful life Judas was explaining to us.

"Please, please don't worry about me. That's the last thing I need," Judas begged.

How could I not worry about him? For gods sake, he's sleeping on a bus bench tonight.

I mean, I know I have only known Judas for about a week, but I care about him.

Gerard butt into the conversation, breaking the quiet shell that he was keeping. "What do you mean 'don't worry about me'? It's almost winter and you're out here sleeping on a metal bus bench!" With every word Gerard said, his voice got louder. His voice was shaky, and you could hear the tension in his words.

"Just stop, okay? I know I'm a screw up. I don't need you to worry about me. Is that clear?" Judas screeched. Tears fell onto his tongue. His head fell into his hands, and his palms soaked up his tears.

"This isn't your fault," I told him.

It was so heartbreaking to see Judas in this situation. The guy who tried to motivate me was sitting next to me shedding tears.

I, too, could not help but cry. A teardrop fell from my eye and splashed onto my lap.

"Judas, please," I muttered. Tears dripped rapidly out of my eyes. I didn't even have to blink, they just fell out. It also didn't hurt me to cry like it normally does, I was very subtle.

I had no clue why, though.

I continued on,"You can't spend your like this, you know that?"

Judas wiped his damp hands onto his lap, and nodded his head up and down. He whipped his fringy hair out of his eyes.

"Please let us drive you home or something. Anything. I don't want this for you," I added. I grabbed Gerard's hand and turned my head to his, asking for assurance to take Judas home.

Gerard, of course, nodded 'yes'.

We needed to help Judas.

"Y-you don't have to do that please," Judas said, his voice still shaky and stutter filled. He looked down at his shoes when he talked. It made him mutter, almost like he was talking to himself.

"Yes, we do," Gerard confirmed. He wasn't as tense anymore, he was calming down.

Judas lifted his head up and looked Gerard in the eyes. Gerard perked his eyebrows up. Neither of them said a word.

"But guys, I can't have you do this, rea-"

"Judas, I'm not going to make this a choice," Gerard asserted. Still holding hands, Gerard and I stood up from the bench and waited for Judas to follow along.

Judas gulped. I could hear him try to swallow up his sorrow. It was easy to tell that he wanted to cry again.

I still felt the need to cry, too.

I'm so overly sensitive, it's not even funny.

I pulled Gerard closer to me and hugged him. I closed my eyes and kept him in my arms.

I didn't even know what to feel.

Sad, numb, okay.

Judas rolled up his sleeping bag and flung his backpack over his shoulder.

Gerard and i let go of each other. The three of us walked a few blocks down to our car, and began to drive Judas home.

***

"Right here," Judas said, pointing to his house at the end of the road. Gerard pulled into the driveway and stopped.

"Thanks guys. Please don't stress. I'll be fine."

"Wait, Judas!" I yelled as he started climbing out of the car. I grabbed a sketchbook from the glove compartment and tore out a piece. I took a pencil, and wrote my number down on it.

"If anything, call me," I said, handing him the piece of paper.

"Thanks," Judas grinned. He slammed the door and walked into the small, ranch house.

We made sure Judas got into the house before we took off. Once we got home, Gerard and I sat on the living room couch. We stared at the ceiling above us with now feeling at all.

"Well, now I met Judas," Gerard smirked. I leaned closer to him, and fit my head into his neck.

"I had no clue," I revealed. "At all."

"It's okay, Frankie. Stuff happens," Gerard said, trying to bring my spirit up.

It didn't work.

I didn't know Judas slept on the streets. I didn't know he moved all around from foster parents to foster parents.

I didn't know any of this.

"It's not okay, Gerard. I wish it was, but it's not."

I was still in shock and in pain from the whole experience. It just made me realize how so many people fake smiles to hide themselves.

Just like Judas.

"Can we just go back to earlier this morning? When we were both so happy and excited?" Gerard encouraged. "Get out minds off everything. You gave him your phone number. Just know that if he needs you, he'll call you."

I nodded my head. "Us. If he needs us."

I let my head out of the crook of Gerard's neck and looked up at him. Both of us had small smiles on our faces. I twirled my fingers in his hair and smiled even bigger.

He was just so perfect in every way.

He ran his hand through my hair. Our faces got closer to each other, and I could feel his warm breath on my face. I cupped his cheek and immediately kissed his soft lips. We fell on to the couch. His hands on the back of my head, and my fingers spread on his cheeks.

This was a good way to get my mind off of things.

***

(A/N) blahh so much going on. idk. anyway, tell me what your thinking of judas. dont forget to comment and vote, it helps me out!

xo
-laser candy

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