5sos Story Collection

Teenage Dream

Author's Note: every time I read this it get funnier and funnier, and brings back wonderful memories with my friends. I hope there are stories that make your feel the same way, and I hope this makes you laugh.

Y/N drew her breath; her assumed battle stance said more words than the metaphorical crickets. Michael narrowed his eyes and puffed his chest out a little more. He also drew breath, ready to defend his status.

"The pillow sits like this!" Y/N argued, reaching out to the couch to reposition the single decorative pillow for the tenth time.

Michael took it upon himself to dive onto the couch to protect the pillow. He was too slow, however, and Y/N sat in front of it to prevent him from readjusting the pillow again. "Get up," he said threateningly, trying to forcibly remove her.

Y/N refused to move. "You want me to move?"

"Get your fucking ass off my couch!" Michael said.

Y/N looked him dead in the eye as she massaged the cushion with her behind.

"Bitch," he insulted.

"Slut," she said back.

"Whore."

"Dick."

"Cum dumpster."

"Taint waffle."

"What're they even saying anymore?" Luke leaned against an entrance frame watching his best friend and one of two new friends spit meaningless insults at each other, and tried pushing each other off the couch. Y/N was definitely going to lose, seeing as she was currently under the mercy of Michael's armpits and superior strength.

"I have no idea," Calum looked on as well.

"What's a taint waffle?" Luke asked.

"It's basically just a man-whore," Y/F/N, Y/N's best friend came around the corner, followed by Ashton.

"I just don't understand what they fight about," Ashton said. "Or why they fight at all. Most of the things they argue over are stupid and pointless."

"Most of the time, she just wants to get on Michael's nerves," Y/F/N said. "When they're really fighting they're one in the same person. They assume dominance over everything, assume they're both in the right, and do whatever it takes to prove the other wrong."

"How do you know?" Calum asked her.

By some luck of Heaven, Y/N broke free from armpit prison and sat on Michael, calling him out for calling her a "fat-ass."

"Yeah but it's big enough to suffocate your shrimp dick, you big-headed fuck!" she yelled, and proceeded to grab the pillow they were fighting over and beat him with it.

"That's how we used to fight," Y/F/N said, sniffling a little as if she missed them.

The three boys looked at her intrigued.

"So, what's gonna happen next?" Ashton asked.

"Hard to say," Y/F/N cocked her head at the scuffle on the floor. Michael was pushing her off him and went to pin her down. "But by the looks of it, and since it's not between us, they'll probably fuck."

"Don't you fucking dare," Y/N screamed right before Michael let a huge spitball on her face.

"Does that count as fucking?" Luke asked.