Stockholm Syndrome (Jalex)

Day Six

Alex. Day Six - 22:42

I had made several attempts to converse with Jack after the uhm... 'Incident', however all my attempts remained fruitless as the boy sat there in a silent temper tantrum, his eyes shooting daggers through my spine. He was overreacting really- Okay, maybe I shouldn't have had sex with him if he didn't want to so much, but the guy's mental; sex is sex - a good thing. It was probably the whole virgin thing, but hey it's not exactly as if that mattered and I wouldn't put him down as the type to actually care about shit like that, but I guess he is. I couldn't exactly pinpoint as to where Jack's beliefs and trust lay, and it remained my one weakness; it wasn't like this before, I could read all of my previous victims perfectly, it was just Jack, and yet none of this deteriorated the fact that I never wanted to get rid of the guy.

When I walked past him room I couldn't even hear the sound of him breathing. With an ear pressed against the door, one would believe that it was an empty room, with no Jack Barakat falling apart inside. Maybe he held his breath as I walked past, maybe not even to spite me, but maybe because he was just that scared, I'd made him scared of me. Surely that had been the original intention, but things were so much different, so much more complicated now, because I didn't want him to be this scared of me; for once I wanted to talk to the guy, because the direct approach with someone of ample intelligence was so much more fun.

I wanted him to spill, I wanted to know everything about him, I wanted to know what made him tick and what would make him hate me and what would make him love me, because loved knowing how to toy with people's emotions like that. It probably wasn't the best of hobbies, but no one could pick who they were, well not really anyway. Everyone likes to think they can, but that's just how humans work, they feed off pride and excessive optimism; it makes me sick really.

I pushed the guilt off, it'd be fine. I shouldn't feel guilty at all - the guy was overreacting completely. That's what I thought, but the thought didn't seem to ever quite go away, no matter how hard I tried to dispel the haunting thought from my head, the more snugly it nested between the fabrics of my brain, leaving me with the sole option to give up. I didn't like giving up.

I had never liked giving up, because if you gave up, there was no chance of winning and nothing's better than winning, nothing at all could possibly be better than winning. Except maybe the enigma that is Jack, I don't like how unpredictable he is, yet it seems to be the only thing that continuously draws me back to him, and that's stupidly reckless. I'm getting far too emotional now, if I had managed to hold onto my emotional abstinence then maybe I wouldn't be so drawn into Jack, he'd be gone by now and I wouldn't feel myself caring about him. These emotions are all Jack's fault, which begged the question; was this his intention from the very start? No - he couldn't be that clever, I wouldn't like for him to be that clever. I like being the clever one, I like winning.

Maybe I'd ruined things with Jack and the boy would never trust me again. Maybe I'd broken the boy entirely and maybe he'd never speak to anyone again. Maybe Jack was just being a stubborn, arrogant, prick. I much preferred the latter, but I knew that was very unlikely to be the truth. Jack was so much more of a complex person than that, sure he had his imperfections, but for a normal guy he was rather fascinating, even to a mind like mine.

Jack was all too fascinating to be a normal victim to me; there was definitely something about the guy that I couldn't put my finger on, yet never quite take my mind off either. Jack was ensnaring me with his stupid brown eyes and I didn't like that one bit - I was the hunter not the hunted and I needed to enforce that upon him, but I know all too well how he'd react and my downfall was that I hated upsetting him, I hated it when those eyes were spoiled by tears.

Jack was rather perfect, with those beautiful brown eyes and crooked smile that never came out to shine anymore. I missed that side of Jack, I missed happy Jack- No, I needed happy Jack, and I was a selfish person, therefore I was going to get happy Jack, there was no question about that one. I just had to figure out how a person of hatred could turn into a person of joy. It was a rather baffling thought, which of course led for me to be all the more intrigued by it, because the things that most interested me were Jack and new ideas - combine the two and you have something that's right up my street.