Stockholm Syndrome (Jalex)

Day Eighteen

Day Eighteen. Jack - 16:45

After Flyzik had left, I'd been spending an awful lot of time thinking about what he said regarding Alex. I knew that with someone like him I really shouldn't take a single word that let his lips in any way seriously at all, but they were words and words stuck, especially when they were words that you didn't want to hear.

The thing is, I kind of knew deep down that Alex wasn't really 'with it', and that my boyfriend was stuck somewhere deep within the clutches of insanity, but I really daren't admit it to myself and I had ended up burying it deep within layers of bullshit and dreams I'd really like to forget and holding it under the surface so it drowned there, and somehow Alex's insanity didn't seem real anymore.

But it was very real, so real in fact that all I needed to remember its entire existence was a few words pushing it back up to the surface by none other than Matt Flyzik. And now the thought, the concept - the reality was buzzing around my head like an agitated fruit fly, and I was rather overwhelmed when it came to the matter, because I knew that this wasn't easy at all and there certainly was no easy way out.

There was no doubt in the fact that Alex needed professional help, but there was also no doubt in the fact that bringing a serial killer into a hospital was most certainly a terrible idea, especially if you're a missing person... that really is a recipe for disaster, or more literally, arrest.

As you could have guessed, that's particularly not an idea I'm all that keen on, especially considering the co-dependent mess that my relationship with Alex has become. Though it may be a co-dependent mess, it's somehow all I could ever want, and as much as every one's screaming to look behind me, I've never turned back.

I did however need advice as my own brain was significantly lacklustre at the art of anything to do with emotions, which is indeed where I called upon and generally thanked the existence of Cassadee, because damn she was a fucking life saver.

I logged onto my email, and messaged her; we hadn't spoken since she sent me that one message I meant to reply to but never got round to two days ago. I hope she hadn't taken that personally, and I really doubt that she would have in the first place because she's Cassadee and she has a brain and somehow knows how to use it.

Hey Cassadee, I was wondering if I could ask your advice on something... it's uhh... kind of personal so yeah... uhh... I'd just like someone intelligent's opinion, you know? Thanks.

My message sounded rather stiff and awkward but I was far too preoccupied with the fact that Alex had insisted upon going out to work today even despite what happened yesterday. He was stupidly reckless and I'd even threatened calling Flyzik to talk some sense into him, but then Alex just gave me one of those looks that I haven't seen for a good two weeks now and that silenced me within seconds, which was kind of worrying when you thought about it...

I just hoped he came home, okay? And now I just sound like some worried housewife from World War II, which does bring quite an amusing if not awfully embarrassing mental image.

I was glad to hear a pop sound coming from my laptop to notify me of a new message from Cassadee.

Hey Jack:) Sure you can - I wouldn't call myself intelligent but I'm all ears.

I knew I could rely on Cassadee dear god, how could I ever manage my own life without her?

Jack: Well this guy I know he's kind of been weird lately like kind of scary. I'm worried about him despite the fact he says he's totally fine, and he clearly isn't. Two days ago he took some pills and passed out unconscious in our kitchen and I didn't even know until he came downstairs in the morning. And he says he hears like these voices... I don't want to think that he's insane or anything but I'm just really worried about him.