Latter Day Sinner

Chapter 18

If things being 'good' is defined simply by them not being awful - then things were definitely becoming better for Frank. In the week that followed, Frank made more of an active effort to be present with his friends, to actually listen to them, and try to re-engage.
The vibe he was getting now was certainly one of acceptance – more so than before, anyway. The group could, at least, tolerate his presence and would often even direct conversations towards him. It wasn't the same, and it wouldn't be, for a while. But with Gerard gone, this was the best he could do.

The only real kick in the teeth for Frank, was that he found out that the band had continued to practice in his absence. It came out as the group were walking home that Monday evening, and they all turned towards Mia's, while Frank turned towards his.
And then he realised.

"Oh. You guys... still..." he blushed hard, feeling very stupid. Of course they'd continue. Why wouldn't they? He was only rhythm guitar, after all. They'd be able to replace his parts.

Damien shrugged a little, rubbing the back of his neck, seeming at a loss for words. In fact, the whole group seemed collectively very uncomfortable. But, really – did they think he wouldn't notice?
To Frank's surprise, it was Mia that spoke. She, of everyone, spoke to him the least, with only passing words, or occasionally a school-related question. Her focus on him now, therefore, made him more than a little bit hesitant.

"It's not personal. I mean, not really. If anyone in the group had pulled the shit you did, we'd have cut them out. And I mean, Frank, we know you're trying. It's just...we don't want to get left behind again,"

To Frank's absolute mortification, he felt tears prickle at his eyes as he let her words sink in. The awful part was that she was right. It was he who had ruined everything, after all. The group had just snapped, fed up and sick of being left behind by him. As awfully as it was handled, and as much as Mia's betrayal had hurt, he knew that the whole thing was, at its core, entirely his fault.
He averted his eyes and nodded. He didn't know what else to say, and it seemed no other words were needed. He just nodded, utterly embarrassed and ashamed, and began to walk away, his shoulders slumped in dejection.

He assumed the group was watching him go, but didn't check for certain. He still had that little bit of pride, at least.

The very last thing Frank had expected that evening, was to see anyone from his group. After his embarrassing revelation, he assumed that they'd all be comfortable with a bit of space. Hence his surprise when, in the late evening, he heard a knock at the door, followed by his Mother calling

"Frankie! Your friend's here!"

Frank, for one horrible moment, thought it was Gerard. His heart thrummed in his chest and he actually felt lightheaded – he hadn't decided what he wanted to say to the Priest yet. He didn't even know if he wanted to address the issue at all. After all, it was probably far easier for them both if he just kept quiet and le the whole thing fade away. He knew, at least, that that was the most unselfish thing to do. Gerard would be able to move on, and go back to his purity and his divinity, and Frank could work on trying to fix the damage he'd caused.
At the thought though, he felt a tight ache in his chest that revealed the truth. Frank could never do that. At some point or another, he was going to have to face Gerard.

By the time Frank got to the top of the stairs, he'd worked himself up into quite a panic. When he saw Daniel standing there, though, he felt the tension spill from him. It was okay – he didn't need to deal with his 'maybe relationship' just then.

He began to smile, but it stopped dead on his face when he saw the state Daniel was in. The boy was trembling, looking like he'd been crying, and he was slightly bent over, as if injured. Frank swallowed.