Fool For You 》Zustin AU (sequel to Pillow Talk)

4.

Justin's pov.

I walked towards the bar, tired of dancing with Brendan. He was still dancing, but now with Bella and a few friends. The slowdancing time had ended, and I decided that a Heineken sounded amazing.

I was about to reach the bar when I spotted Zayn's hair, and I froze. He was drunk. I could tell by the way the bartender took his shots away. I hesitantly walk foward when I see him get off his stool.

He stumbles, and without even thinking, I'm reaching out and steadying him.

"..Zayn?"I say, hesitating.

I feel him freeze before he looks up. I see his beautiful brown eyes, which glittered with happiness, and I instantly knew that coming to the bar was a mistake.

"Justin,"he breathed out, steadying himself. He reached out one arm out to caress my face.

"Oh my god.. you're still as beautiful as ever,"he says, his eyes wide as he looked and studied my features.

His hand traced over my face, my eyebrwows, nose, cheekbones, jawline, and he let out a choked, painful laugh as he hugged me tightly.

"I can't believe you're here. Oh god I love you,"he says, caressing my cheek before leaning in.

He closes his eyes and I lift up my hand and place it over his lips.

"I have a boyfriend,"I say, as his eyes snap open. They fill with disappointment.

"Right. Brendon. The guy you left me for,"he says, looking down.

"Zayn.. It wasn't like that,"I say, but he cuts me off.

"No, I get it. You were gaining fame, you needed someone equally as famous, not a loser nerdy nobody,"he says.

"Don't say that. It wasn't that-"

His eyes suddenly darken, and he says, "then what? What was it? Obviously I wasn't good enough,"he trails off, his eyes becoming softer as they fill with tears.

I feel conflicted, not liking the feeling I pain and longing in my heart as I watch this drunk Zayn slowly break apart.

"I just don't understand.. you were the one who came after me.. you made me fall for you.. I just love you so much and you left me.. it's unbearable. I knew it was too good to be true,"he says, and I watch a tear slip down his face.

"I'm sorry Zayn. I swear, it wasn't you, it was me. I loved you, but-"I cut myself off as I watch him fall to the ground on his knees, burrying his face in his hands. His body shook with silent sobs and I bit my lip.

"You loved me. You loved me. Which means you don't anymore, doesn't it?"he cries through his tears.

I look around to see if anyone is watching but everyone invited to the after party in this club is too busy dancing.

"I just don't get it!"he says, standing up. Tears run freely down his face, and my heart clenched even more.

"If you would have listened to me, you would have known I was signed to syco, I was going to be famous.. you could have waited. What does Brendan have that I don't?"he says, and I open my mouth to try and calm him down, but he continued softly.

"I get it. I mean, look at him. He's pefect, reckless, beautiful, confident.. He's everything I'm not. I'm.. nothing,"he finishes, looking at the floor as tears continue to slide down his cheeks. His hands were shaking, and it seemed like he had trouble breathing.

"What the- Zayn!"

Harry walks up to us, followed by Liam. Harry rushes to Zayn, face worried. They both noticed his hands shaking and the tears, along with the way he was breathing.

"Liam, gather up the others, we're going home, please get Zayn away from here, now!"

"What about his medication?!"Liam asks.

"Don't give it to him.. He's drunk, it's not good to mix them. Just get some cold water into him and go over the breathing exercises,"Harry says quickly.

Once they were out of sight, he turns to me.

"What happened?"he asks.

"He stumbled so I caught him. He started touching my face and saying that he loved me.. he tried to kiss me, but I didnt let him, and then he started asking why he wasn't good enough, and crying, and he just then froze and that's how you found him... what happened to him?"I ask.

Harry stays quiet for a bit before he speaks up. "Zayn got diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder and depression last July.. after you left he was a mess, Simon and his mum took him and he was diagnosed.. He takes medication for his anxiety, he stopped with the antidepressants though,"Harry says and my heart drops.

"I know the Zayn you knew didn't drink that much, but he changed.. he started getting meaningful tattoos, but he has yet to tell us the meanings. He started drinking.. he gets drunk at every party we have, he doesnt think before acting when drunk. But he's really good at writing his feelings out in song.. that's why hi therapist told him to always songwrite when he's upset,"Harry says.

"Are all his songs.."I trail off, hoping Harry catches on to what I'm trying to ask.

"Yes, all his songs are about you,"he says softly.

"I don't know what to say.. what exactly happened after I left?"I ask.

"He through all his songs away, I found the songbooks in the garbage. In their place, I found a new journal filled with new songs.. he recorded, went home, slept, missed school a week, but Louis said when he returned, it was like he was emotionally dead,"he says.

"He hasn't tried to move on, he doesn't try to forget.. he just remembers and remembers.."Harry finishes.

"I want you to be honest with me Harry. As my best friend.. do you think I fucked up by leaving Zayn?"I ask.

"Honest answer? I think leaving Zayn was the worst mistake in your life. But there's not much we can do about it now, is there,"he says, standing up.

"I gotta go now. It was nice talking to you. Please don't mention what I told you to anyone,"he says, and hesitates before continuing.

"And I think it would be best if you and Zayn dont run into each other again."

I watch him walk off, and I turn to look at Brendan.

Did I really make the right choice in choosing him over Zayn?

OMG I CRIED WHILE WRITING ZAYN'S RANT, I THINK ITS BECAUSE I SEE MYSELF IN ZAYN IN THIS BOOK.

ANYWAYS, WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN NEXT?! COMMENT YOUR PREDICTIONS. VOTE. SHARE PILLOW TALK AND THIS BOOK, WE MUST SPREAD ZUSTIN TO THE WORLD.

I LOVE YOU MY LITTLE ZUSTIN PILLOWS!

Lots of love,
-Nay xx.