Stardom Issues ☘

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The traffic lights, the car lights, the street lights, star lights and every other light looked almost unreal from the balcony of my penthouse

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The traffic lights, the car lights, the street lights, star lights and every other light looked almost unreal from the balcony of my penthouse. I look down from the twenty-fifth floor of the building and my eyes scanned through the mundane activities of everyone.

Aren't you the star, Jeremy?

A family passing by, a taxi honking loudly, a couple too eager to get home. What will they feel when suddenly a mega film star just jumped right in front of them, his head cracked open and a pool of blood forms under his head? Disgusted I bet some might be shocked while few will be curious but there will be none to grieve.

Fans? It is out of sight, out of mind for stars like me.

The cold breeze started bothering my bare feet but my eyes refused to leave the only sight of freedom. Suicidal thoughts are common for me when I am on drugs but now having them in a sober state was kind of aching. What has my life come to?

The door behind me click open and I sigh, in relief or exasperation, I don't know.

"Thinking of jumping, Jeremy?"My manager, Ashton Richards said.

Only I could dude, only if I could but I am a certified coward.

"I talked to the lawyer, he said you are safe from any chargers for -" He faltered with his words.

He should, I did end up killing someone. It doesn't matter if that music producer was trying to sexually harass a new actress. Usually, I ignore such shit but that day I was little too drunk and ended up bashing his head. Honestly, it felt good.

"Murder, Ash. Say it out loud without any fear." I chuckled at him feeling light-headed.

"Stop drinking so much Jeremy." He sounded reproachful.

"Really Ash, you should not be telling me what to do when it comes to drinks and drugs."

Ashton looked at me with a hopeless expression.

"Are you coming to the party tonight?" He asked checking the schedule on his iPhone.

"What is in it for me?" I asked already looking for an excuse to go.

Parties were my scene, I got girls and booze and sometimes a new movie role. My career was at its peak what more could I ask for. That is how sadistic fate is.

"Nothing, seriously. I would recommend you stay back home. Tomorrow is important." Ashton sounded so boring that I wanted to force some liquor down his throat and get rid of all the seriousness in him.

"What is tomorrow, another shoot for commercial, song, movie?" I asked as the alcohol found it's way through my throat.

It doesn't burn anymore like it did for the first time, it doesn't make me water my eyes instead it took away all the pain, temporarily. I slumped down on my smooth bedsheet and closed my eyes waiting for Ash to answer.

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