☘ "Maybe sometimes being lost is the best thing that could happen to you, because then you have nothing to lose. But for just this once I don't mind losing."
Maureen is a girl who has been on streets all her life, her life has been hard enough unt...
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I was going to the fighting arena again. I felt like a fucking coward doing it but the uneasiness was too much for me to cope. I tried to be strong and calm for Magenta but it was aching to see her in pain and living a life with Charlotte all over again.
Losing someone breaks you, scars you in a way that you will never heal. The little things remind you of them and there is a sudden scary realization that they will never come back, you will never see them again, ever. Never hear the sound of the voice or feel the touch and the tiniest possibility of losing Magenta was killing me from within.
I was already scarred, Magenta was reopening those wounds which was even more painful.
But I will never tell her that because even without saying the guilt was evident in her eyes, those eyes that took my heart and mind away.
A punch to my stomach brought me back to the arena and it made me wonder how will Magenta react to this. I felt kind of proud of myself when she showed up to my fights. And then I started feeling more like winning rather than just defeating. I felt the need to impress someone. Will she be in more pain if told her that I was doing this again? She read me like an open book and she will know, I was fighting pain with pain again.
It was not that I was not hopeful, I was just being realistic after what I went through with Charlotte.
My one clear uppercut sent the opponent falling on his back. I was becoming more of a legend in this arena, undefeated, too strong and almost inhuman. Magenta was the only one that saw behind that mask and found a human.
As I was about to leave after packing up my things in the locker, I saw Jack walk towards me in large strides and before he punched me I saw it coming.
It hurt like hell but I just gave him a cold look.
"How can you do this when a life is depended on you." He was well aware of the inner circles and dirty men behind the illegal fighting arena.
He had the right to be angry. As reluctant as I was to agree, he loved Magenta and I was just lucky because she chose me.
"Does she know?" I asked the most important question.
"No, but you will tell her." That was not an option the way Jack said it.
"I need to let it out." I just said putting all my pain and stress in those words.
Jack sighed looking at me with a defeated expression like he could understand me but he was helpless in the situation as well.
"Have some hope." He said sounding unconvincing.
"This is me having hope Jack."
Because he still hasn't seen me at my worse.
***
With a less than two days left for her surgery I wanted her to rest and just remain stress-free but whenever I got back home Magenta was never there. She was either with Ash at some art museum or some bakery just sitting there enjoying the sweet smell or that is what she said.
