Cost of Life ☘

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As much as I hated being in debt and a trouble for others, I was sitting in a hospital with Jeremy who was the man I knew and still so different from the person I came across went we first met

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As much as I hated being in debt and a trouble for others, I was sitting in a hospital with Jeremy who was the man I knew and still so different from the person I came across went we first met. He was this cold barrier that no one dared touch scared of my how the frost can bite.

But somehow the cold didn't scare me maybe because I was already dying.

And here he sat with him, the man I came to love, one who came to me, not like a frost but more like a spring day in my cold life.

How he got me here, that is what broke my heart and mended it at the same time.

***

After two days of living with Jeremy and scared of losing control, I usually woke up at the time he went out and slept before he came or rather pretended to do so. But each time I was in pain or woke up trembling from a nightmare he was there sitting right next to me.

"Jeremy I don't want you hovering over my head." I snapped feeling ashamed of being a burden to him.

But for those two days, Jeremy was scary silent instead his intense gaze, his slight brush of arm against mine, his little-helping gestures were like fire for my soul which he was searing without any intention. It was three thirty at night when he came back home and I lay awake pretending to sleep.

I would have continued to pretend but he fumbled and something fell on the ground with a thud. Impulsively I got and saw him drunk. Some shopping bags fell from his hand as himself walked in an unstable way. I rushed next to him and held his hand which he jerked away and glared at me. 

What did I do know?

I held his hand but he was too strong for me to handle and as he stumbled on the ground so did I. 

"Don't help me." He said in a bitter tone.

"What is wrong Jeremy?" I asked not sure what I could do to help.

I saw his red puffed eyes, he had been crying and it made my heart ache sharply.

"Why did you meet me Magenta?" He asked in a depressed helpless tone.

His words were a little hurting and I just gulped back the pain.

"Why me?" He asked as if I was at fault for something.

"And now when I fucking love you, you want to leave." He yelled and my heart stopped as did my mind and other senses.

He said he loved me and he knew I was going to... leave.

But he loved me?

"Jer, please calm down," I said as softly as possible.

"Don't call me that." He snapped at me and it made me wonder if I affected him as much as he affected me.

And then looked at me with the most heart-melting gaze, tilting his head in a cute gesture.

"God likes to mock me." He mumbled and then took my hand in his.

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