My Brother's Best Friend

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Monday
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I woke up completely dreading school today. I got out of bed and got in the shower. I washed my body then got out. I put my hair a messy bun then put on a hoodie. I slipped on black sweatpants and my converse.

I didn't do my makeup. I grabbed my things then walked downstairs. I have to walk to school for the next month. I plugged in my ear buds and played my music. I walked out and headed to school.

An hour later I get to school and I'm out of breath. At least it was a good workout. I walk through the parking lot and see my friends I want to talk to them so bad but I can't. I guess you're wondering why I won't talk to them. Well where I come from its very disrespectful to disobey your parents orders and if you do bad luck shall come upon you.

They all looked at as I walked past. I noticed Julian wasn't with them. I shook my head and walked into the building. I went into the bathroom and silently cried. I hate my life.

After a couple minutes of crying I got myself together and walked out of the bathroom. I'm like ten minutes late to class. I was walking down the hallway when I saw Julian and Holly walk out of the janitors closet. I can't explain the emotions that are running through my body. "Sinead." He said. I just stood there. Holly smirked then walked away.

He walked over to me and hugged me. I back up and looked him in the eye. "I can't." I said. "What?" He asked. I shook my head then walked away. "Sinead wait." He said. He turned me around and kissed me. I couldn't help but to kiss him back.

"I love Holly but I'm in love with you, you have me wrapped around your finger, I can't bare to be without you." He said and I smiled. "Come to my house?" He asked and I nodded. He grabbed my hand then we left.

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We walked into his room and sat on his bed. "I'm forbidden to see you." I said. "Why?" He asked. "My dad." I replied. "I can't be without you." He said. I felt my heart flutter. He took off my hoodie and my shoes. "Get comfortable." He said then climbed in bed. I laid my head on his chest and he kissed it. "Julian." I said. "Yes?" He asked. "Don't hurt me please." I said. "I won't, I promise." He said. "Okay." I replied.

I am head over heels for this boy. I've never felt this way about anyone. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He flipped us over and began to peck my lips. My dad is gonna kill me if he finds out I skipped school to be with Julian but honestly I couldn't care less. The simple fact that he believed Rena over me just shows that she's putting all these things in his head. I don't hate him and I don't wish he was dead. I just so those things when I'm angry. Maybe I should apologize.

"You okay?" Julian asked. "Yes, I just have a lot of things on my mind." I said and he nodded. I wanna get away from my problems. I need a trip. A great escape. "Are you hungry?" Julian asked. "Yeah." I said. "Okay, I'll be back." He said and I nodded.

This is my opportunity to explore his room. He walked out and I got up. I started looking at his pictures. There's a lot of him and the guys and a couple of him and holly. I just stared at the picture of them kissing.

I walked to his closet and looked inside. On his top shelf I saw a journal. I grabbed and sat down. I began to read it.

December 6, 2012

  Today Holly and I celebrated six months together, man I love that girl. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But, we got this new girl named Brittany and she's really beautiful, she tried to flirt with me but I brushed her off, I can't loose Holly she means too much to me.

I finish the page and decide to just flip to the last journal entry that he wrote.

November 26, 2017

Today I met with Holly and we talked for the first time in a couple years. She said she wants me back but I'm with Sinead....... I mean I still love her, I just don't know what to do, if I leave Sinead it may not hurt me because we've only been dating for a month and two days, and Sinead isn't talking to me at all. I've called her numerous time and she won't call back. Rena also kissed me and I actually kissed back, I could feel the sparks and I don't feel that with anyone, I want her badly but I also want Sinead. I'm just torn, I don't know who to choose.

I wiped a tear from my eye and sat there. All the things he told me. All the things I told him. I let him take my viginity, my innocence. I loved him. I adored him. But I guess Holly is better than me. He probably only came back to me because he didn't wanna lose Carter.

"Babe I made fre-, why are you crying?" He asked. "You kissed her?" I asked. "What?" He asked. "Did you, kiss her?" I replied raising my voice. "How do you know?" He asked. "This." I said holding up his journal.

"Why were you going through my stuff?" He asked getting a little angry. "Because I'm your girlfriend." I said. "That doesn't matter." He said. "Are you thinking about going back to her?" I asked. "You want me to be honest?" He replied and I nodded.

"Yes." He said. "Let me make it easier for your decision, we're done." I said then started crying. "Sinead..." He started but I put my hands in face. "I don't wanna hear it, I hope she makes you happy!" I yelled then ran out. I just keep getting hurt.

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Heyyy! Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I didn't have any internet so I'm updating today. A lot of probably hate me. Tbh I hated writing this.

Suggested song: When I'm Broken by: Janine and the mixtape