The Academy - Side B

Eri's Diary

Hello!

My name is Eri.

I've never kept a diary before, which is odd, because I'm twenty-two now, and I've heard that diaries are only kept when you're in school. It never crossed my mind to keep one back then, what with all that was going on at The Academy.

Still, those four years were the best years of my life. I made some wonderful friends there, and it felt like I'd come home. Even though I felt very uncomfortable around people at times, when it was just me, I never really felt alone. Whether it was in the woods, in the library, or at the lake, nothing felt unfamiliar, even during those first few days there when I was fourteen.

There's something so beautiful about magic - although that's mostly artificial. One of our teachers back at school told us that raw magic is quite ugly, with dull grey sparks. It was only two hundred years after the Beginning, when magic was slowly refined through humans being in touch with their surroundings. I do recall a few times when I've seen grey sparks as a child, instead of silver; perhaps I wasn't in tune with nature or myself so much there. There have been lots of grey sparks in Automatia too.

Speaking of Automatia, the country has been recovering slowly over the last few years. It seems that some time ago, the lost magic returned to the country, making it easier to clean up the pollution and increase magical power. That's a good thing. Now fewer people will fall ill when they go, although it's a little too late for Mama and I.

When I'm bored, I like to randomly create things with magic. Once I created butterflies, and sometime this morning, as I was on my way to buy this diary, I created some dandelions which flew away in the wind before the sparks faded out. It's sad how we can't make them last longer, though I've noticed mine last for up to ten minutes before they disappear. The other professors at the university say that's quite a lot, and they can't do more than five minutes.

Mama's far more powerful than I am. Once, a falcon she created with magic lasted for about half an hour, easily scaring off all the Kabi on our farm. It wasn't a small falcon either. Even now, when she takes classes, her creations stay on for a while. She's even summoned more spirits to keep an eye on the school while she's not there.

She and Papa will be coming over this winter for a few weeks. I'm so excited! Yon, my little brother, will be here as well for his winter break, instead of going home. He's fifteen now, and I'm sure he's taller than me. It's really unfair, you know, because I've always wanted to be taller, but I'm not.

Still, I'm looking forward to seeing my family. This is a big event, and it's important that I celebrate it with the people who mean the most to me. My two best friends, Lila and Marcus will be there too.

Marcus won't come with my parents, even though he teaches at school now. He'll be in town, though, because his family stays nearby. I've been to visit them a few times, and returned home with a very full stomach.

I don't understand how it's so easy for Lila to come, though. I mean, she's a princess, and she's still looking after the family business...as far as the business is concerned, the court says it's okay for her to continue heading it until Valerian becomes king. That's when she'll have to step down. But I sometimes wonder if it's safe for her to come all the way. She's never really been able to let herself go for about ten years now. Even when we were at school, Valerian insisted on her having a bodyguard as soon as word got out that she belongs to the Shadowland nobility. It's sad that the Shadowland has had such a dark reputation, but things have been getting better!

Still, if it wasn't for Lila, I would not be where I am today.

What I mean to say is, if she didn't have a bodyguard back then, my parents would not be coming here in two months for my wedding.

Now, how do I begin to do justice to Kazu? He's also been one of my best friends, although he strongly denied it for years. But I think even he enjoyed those hours we spent together at the stream as teenagers, talking about life, about magic, and about ourselves. I think the friendship we formed there is the foundation of our relationship today.

There's no point being in a relationship with someone if you don't really know them, or make the effort to do so. Even during the relationship, we kept learning more about each other as people, and that made it easier for us to be honest about ourselves.

I still feel like he's hiding a few things from me, however. They seem like really dark secrets, which would explain the darkness in his eyes. I know some of it, but not all. I know he's done things that I would not approve of, which is probably why he won't tell me about them.

I hope he comes to realize that I will listen to him, and even if I don't like what he did, I will accept him for who he is. Darkness was always a part of his life, and will continue to be. But I've seen him when he's a part of the light, and by all the gods, he is beautiful. There is this look of bliss on his face, and his red eyes always clear up.

I want to see that look on his face every day of our lives together. Never should he feel alone, that nobody will accept his darkness, for I will. He doesn't want me to be 'tainted' by his darkness, but I'm willing, if it helps him. I know he would do the same for me.

I've seen the panic in his eyes when I let go of his hand, even if just for a moment. He's not faking it: there's something he is truly afraid of. What does he see when I let go, I wonder?

But it's high time he realizes that I'm going to be there for him from now on. We're not moving to the Shadowland after the wedding, but we're staying here instead. He's got a job at the local military academy, and I'm not leaving my job at the university. And anyway, I don't think either of us want to build a future together in a community that has forged itself from blood and death.

People always think that just because I'm shy, and prefer to be on my own, that I can't make it in this world. Well, I've done it already here, and I will do it again.

Until next time, dear diary.

~Eri

This entire chapter was completed in one sitting ;)