Shattered Hearts

Chapter 29

Louis reluctantly agreed to have lunch with his mom having barely spoken to her since he'd got back from vacation with Charlotte. He'd feigned being busy but he could only hold her off for so long.

"So how was your vacation?" she asked, turning to stir whatever it was she was cooking as if she wasn't particularly interested in his reply.

"It was good," he said nonchalantly.

"That's nice." She paused, letting a silence develop. "Mark was saying that Evie is going into Mrs McKenna's class in September. You do remember Evie, your niece?"

"Of course I remember Evie, and you can call her teacher Charlotte, she won't be 'Mrs McKenna' for much longer." Thank god.

His mom turned around her lips pursed. "When I'm talking about Charlotte in a professional capacity I'll use her proper title." Louis snorted. "Well, that's her name, divorce or no divorce. I must say I'd rather my granddaughters weren't exposed to someone with such questionable morals."

Louis scowled at her thinking Charlotte was the last person with questionable morals, although sometimes he wished she had. The standards she held herself to were stupidly high, it was almost like she was trying to set herself up for failure.

"Can't you give her a break?" he asked impatiently. "She's had a really rough time." He closed his eyes as John's words invaded his thoughts. He still couldn't get his head around what he'd told him, and he had no idea how to raise it with Charlotte. He knew he should wait for her to confide in him, but part of him was hurt that she hadn't. He had to keep reminding himself that he had no right to know the ins and outs of her life.

His mom turned down the cooker and took a seat next to him at the table. "Louis, I know Charlotte has been through something I couldn't possibly have coped with when I was her age, I can barely comprehend it now," she said quietly. "It pains me to put myself in her place." He looked up started. "She's lost a baby, lost her husband, she has to find a way for herself alone in this world with a child. That's no small task."

"So what are you saying?" He was thrown by her about-turn; a minute ago she was acting like the moral police, now she was all sympathy.

His mom dipped her head down, refusing to meet his eyes. "You're out of your depth with her. You're my son and I love you but you're not ready to be what she needs. She's looking for a replacement father for her son, a second husband for herself, you're not the man she's looking for."

Louis gaped at her. "You think I'm incapable of being in a relationship with her?"

"She has a child." She looked back up, finally meeting his eyes. "She's not some random girl you've taken a fancy to. She has responsibilities that you know nothing about."

"I'll figure it out."

His mom shook her head. "You don't get to figure it out where a child is concerned. You can't make mistakes, think of the damage you'll do."

"I won't do any damage." Jeez if she only knew what Jamie's father had done...

"You're being naive," she said her voice rising an octave. "How can you believe you're responsible enough to take on a single mother and her child? Look at your lifestyle. You haven't shown any commitment to anything since you got back home."

He let out a weary sigh, thinking the argument was about more than just Charlotte. "I've held down a job since I moved back here, I've paid my way. I might not come and see you and dad all that often but-"

"A child is different," she snapped. "You haven't been serious about a girl in years, never mind anything else."

"I have."

"No, you have not." She spoke slowly, leaving no room for argument. "One night stands and here today gone tomorrow girls, hardly demonstrate commitment. Think about Charlotte's son. When you get bored with her - which you will -  what happens to him? You'll walk out of his life without a backward glance."                                                              

He looked at her slack-jawed. "You have a pretty low opinion of me, don't you?" All this time he'd thought her objections were due to an irrational dislike of Charlotte, but it turned out his mother thought he was a total fuck up.

She leaned back in her seat, her face weary. "You haven't been very reliable lately, not that you ever were. Running off to join the army, pretending you were drafted."

He gaped at her, "You knew I wasn't drafted."

She tilted her head to one side, trying not to smile. "Of course I knew. You never got draft papers for a start."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"You'd made your mind up and in many ways, it was the first positive step you'd taken. You'd left high school, you could barely hold down a job and you were drinking too much."

He waved his hand, "Okay, you don't need to remind me, I was an asshole back then."

"Yes, you were." She reached out to touch his arm. "I know what I'm saying sounds harsh but young people today think they can have it all and life doesn't work like that. Actions have consequences and as far as you and Charlotte are concerned, there is a child to consider."

"Do you think I don't know that?" He rubbed his forehead feeling the beginnings of a headache. "Even if Jamie somehow slipped my mind, Lottie mentions him often enough. I know he's her world."

Her face softened. "Exactly, he's her world, you're not. You need to meet someone else, someone who doesn't have all this baggage."

"Yeah, and you'll still find fault with her," he said scowling. "You've never liked Charlotte, you're just using her son as an excuse to try and break us up."

Her face heated up, indication flashing in her eyes. "I am not! I barely know her and I liked her just fine all those years ago. And it is years. I wonder how well you know her these days."

Great now his mom was spouting John's lines. Maybe they'd compared notes?

"I know her just fine," he said stubbornly.

Bullshit, she hadn't told him the most important stuff but his mom didn't need to know that.

"And I know that you're just looking for an excuse to ruin what might be the best thing that's ever happened to me," he said grim-faced.

"That's not true." She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry but I don't think you know what you're getting into. Whatever you feel about Charlotte, she has a child, and I seriously doubt you're ready to take responsibility for him."

He looked at her open-mouthed, he didn't want to take responsibility for Charlotte's son - his mom made it sound like he'd be taking over - and yet she had a point. If their relationship went the distance, it was unlikely he could avoid being a parental figure in Jamie's life. He'd be jumping in at the deep end, not knowing if he'd sink or swim.

                                                             ~~~

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