The Longest Five Years (Completed)

Reagan

Present Day

"Oh..."

 Mom's eyes are wide when she opens the door and sees the three of us standing on her front porch. Emmy is in Luke's arms and I'm on my tiptoes whispering in his ear, his grin wide as he shakes his head.

'Don't tell Mom you beat the shit out of Benson...' I'd just finished whispering.

She can't hide her shock. She may not know the gory details of our split, but she's fully aware the end our marriage was anything but easy. Her eyes float over Luke and Emmy, then hold on me, like she's waiting for something.

"Hi, Mom," I say simply, and her smiles cracks wide open as she pulls me into a hug. "Well come in then, come in," she grips me tightly and rocks me back and forth for a minute before letting me go. I stoop down to pick up Emmy's unicorn she dropped on the floor and tuck it under her arm.

"Thanks, Reagan," she smiles widely, hugging her stuffed animal harder. I once thought the scars in my heart would keep those sports dead forever; I didn't think anything in world could heal them – especially not the love of a child. Especially not after so little time. I let out a deep breath and Luke carries Emmy into the kitchen. My heart is not dead.

"Things are...still okay, then?" Mom asks me carefully, glancing over her shoulder into the kitchen. "With Luke?"

"Yes," I smile. "Things are okay."

"Be careful, Reagan," she whispers, a touch of sadness in her voice. She doesn't need to elaborate; details or no details, staying away for five years is a pretty clear indication that things between us were beyond repair. And she loves us both...all three of us, really. He was here when I was not. But the gentle warning in her voice tells me she's looking out for me right now. I nod in understanding, and she claps her hands together as we walk into the kitchen.

"Isn't this just so nice?" My mom's smile is wide as "All of us around one table again, just like it used to be. I swear you were just all lanky little teenagers. Then I blinked."

"And me! I'm here, grandma!" Emmy waves, bouncing in her chair.

"And you," Mom says, kissing her on the head with a smile. "You make it even better. Don't grow up too fast, okay?" The little girl nods, and I think back to a time when Mom used to say that same thing to me. I didn't get it then, but I really do now. Don't ever rush, Emmy, I think, watching her cute little hands reach for the basket of rolls.

I sit down beside her, and when I look up, Luke's staring at me from across the table with a mischievous smile; it really is just like old times. His foot bumps mine under the table and I smile, looking down at my plate. God help me; he's gorgeous. It doesn't even matter that I've just spend the last several days and nights with him; these are butterflies--the kind I can't ignore. His smile is just as dangerous as the first time I saw him, and it's so easy to remember the way it feels to love him...to be consumed by him...to be completely his.

We haven't talked about the kiss and it hasn't happened again. It's been three days and he convinced me it would be crazy to go back to Erin's place when Benson is around. He's a living, breathing creeper who openly admitted to breaking in through the windows. It didn't take much convincing; his house is warm and spending time with him has been really good. I've gotten to say things to him I never thought I would. I've let myself feel again – the good and the bad. It hurts like hell sometimes, but I know this is what I needed to heal. A few weeks home has done more for me than five years away. I can never go back and undo what I did, just like Luke can never go back and change what he did. But it doesn't mean we can't forgive each other. We're only human.