The Grim Reaper Effect

-F I V E-

Chapter Five: I'm Kicking Your Supernatural Ass

"Holy- Tanner! You can't just sneak up on people like that!" I scolded, trying to calm down. "Tell who what?"

He crossed his arms over his chest, "Your nightmares. When are you going to tell them?"

I rolled my eyes, "What are you talking about?"

He sighed, shaking his head in disapproval, "I'm not stupid, Kenzie. How long have you been having your nightmares?"

I could tell he wasn't about to let it go so I gave in. No matter how annoying Tanner is, his heart's always in the right place. He really cares about his family. I remember when he got into a fight with a boy I was mad at because he took my lunch box. Of course, Tanner lost. He was only seven and the boy was eight. Besides that, Tanner wasn't the strongest kid. Still, he was willing to get beat up for me. Even now, he's still willing to kick someone's ass for his sisters.

Tanner took a seat next to me. He didn't look like he had any sleep considering he still had on the same outfit he had on yesterday. That's the thing with Tanner. He was diagnosed with insomnia when he was thirteen. Most times he can't get to sleep. The nights he does finally get some sleep, it's not for long. It always makes me worry, even when he tells me not to. I'm his big sister, it's not like I can just stop worrying.

"It was just tonight. I'm fine," I tried to assure him. He wasn't convinced.

"Listen, Kenz. I know you're trying to do this on your own, but sometimes you need to get help," His voice was calm.

Somehow his tone only made me angrier, "Tanner, I'm fine. Really. You can back off."

"Kenz, it's okay to need some help from time to time. No one's judging you-"

"Then why don't you get help, Tanner?! You're always lecturing me about getting help, yet you still have trouble sleeping!" I shouted in a blind rage. Once I realized exactly what I said, I felt tears stinging my eyes. "Tanner, I-"

He shook his head, "I get it. You're worried." He stood up, sending me a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I'm gonna go try to get some sleep. Night Kenzie."

He left, leaving me in a state of regret. He doesn't like talking about his insomnia. Though he probably won't admit it, it mostly likely came from our grandma dying. Not long after she passed, he started having trouble sleeping. I've found him sitting in his room on countless occasions, staring at his wall. His cheeks were always so stained with tears.

He hated the feeling of being weak. He's the only boy my parents had, it made sense that he wanted to be as manly as his dad. Even during that time, dad cried. He lost his mother. I'd never seen my father so distraught. Most days, he hardly left his room. When he started going to work again, he looked so drained of life. It took months for him to finally get back on his feet.

That's why Tanner always tried to be so strong. He figured someone had to. That alone affected his life in a big way. Now he still feels the need to be strong for everyone else. That's why he hasn't tried to get help yet. Needing help isn't what he considers strong. It's "weakness."

I sighed deeply before flipping through more channels. There was nothing else for me to do. Tanner was done with the situation for tonight and everyone else was asleep. It wasn't like I could just go talk to my best friends.

Eventually, I fell asleep, silently praying for a better day.

-*-

I spent the rest of the week holed up in my room, wallowing in my own sadness. When I went to school, I put on a façade, smiling and laughing like everything was okay. Micah kept his distance, which was fortunate for me. Griffin hadn't made any surprise appearances, which I was thankful for as well. I needed time alone to think.