When The Light Goes Out

Chapter - 7

The look on Barry's face made Monique think that any public space, no matter how secluded, wouldn't be private enough so she took him back to her house. They were just going to talk, what's the worse that could happen from talking? She offered him a drink but he declined. She sat down on the couch next to him with a tea tray. Barry waited until she had a cup before starting.

Barry turned so he was facing her and took a deep breath. "We've been talking for about a month now and I think that if we're gonna keep doing this, I need to be up front with you about some things." He shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "The reason I don't like to meet in person often is because I only wanna meet when I'm feeling the most in control and that's not all the time." Monique looked a little confused so he went on. "I have what's called DID. Do you know what that is?"

She seemed to think on it for a little bit before shaking her head slowly. "Is that why..." she trailed off as she lifted her tea cup back to her lips.

"Yeah, that's why I had to leave the other day," he said, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "Sometimes I get headaches when... Wait," he laughed nervously, "Let me start over. DID stands for Dissociative Identity Disorder."

Monique slowly put her tea cup back on the table, her eyes set on Barry's as she did so. So it was something serious. She tried to choose her next words carefully. "So, what does that mean for us? Do you not want to do this anymore?" She motioned between them.

Barry wiped a hand over his face tiredly. "No, I just don't want to keep this secret from you anymore. I feel like I'm lying to you by not telling you."

"O-Okay," she said. "I'm listening, Barry."

"This disorder means that there is more than one..." He rubbed his chin as he searched for the right word. "I'm sharing this body with other people- other personalities. It sounds weird, but...Dr. Fletcher says that we're all sharing this body. I-Is any of this making sense for you?"

It sounded weird, but she had heard of something like it when she was researching why she had such a bad time interacting with other people. It was called something else though. Monique looked back up at him. "So, this disorder creates other personalities? Is that like the multiple personality disorder?"

The tension in his shoulders ceased and he relaxed. "Dr. Fletcher told me that it's called DID now. She also said that because of us Kevin is safe. She says that we are all a part of Kevin, the host, but, we should be respected as important individuals too."

This gave Monique pause. "Kevin?"

"Kevin is the reason why we're all here. His mother abused him- she wasn't a very reasonable woman when it came to punishment. We would take over to protect him from that hurt and anyone else who wanted to hurt him." He tried to keep the worry from his face but he was pretty sure it wasn't working. It was nerve wracking admitting all of this to her, but he didn't feel right keeping it from her any longer when they had invested so much into the friendship so far.

Monique was hoping that asking questions made him feel better about telling her all of this and that she didn't seem as unsettled as she actually was. She wasn't freaking out, she wasn't making faces or anything because she was genuinely curious about the disorder. There were, however, some things she felt she had to get off her chest. "You haven't given me a reason not to trust you, Barry. I think that you have been being honest with me but...I am kind of not feeling what you are telling me...right now."

Barry took her hands between his and looked her straight in the eyes. He looked just too serious for the Barry she had come to know. She liked when he smiled and when he talked about clothes with her, but now he looked a little less familiar to her. He must have noticed her discomfort becasue his expression softened and and he tried to smile even just a little. "Mo', baby girl, I promise you, no one is going to hurt you. None of us want to hurt you."