Chapter Thirteen (Jameson)

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Chapter Thirteen (Jameson)

I was able to catch up to them. I saw my parents' retreating forms moving to the exit of the building. I stopped them.

"Mom, please wait." The tears in my eyes were nearly blinding. I couldn't see from them. They stopped in their tracks. "Please believe me, I'm not gay."

She turned and looked at me like I was the lowest thing on the planet and couldn't bear to look at me. My heart shattered. I knew I wasn't the best son she could have ever had. I was lazy, stupid and rebellious, but I didn't think that something that started off as a way to get off would get me in this situation. I was trapped with no way out, like being stuck down a deep well with water still being poured in. I couldn't breathe. I just wanted to be loved by my mommy. That's all.

"Stop lying. I saw you with him." Her eyes were getting watery too. "I don't care of you like men, I just can't stand that my son is a liar! How can you stand there and lie to me after being caught with that man up there? I can't believe this."

"It was all just a joke." I blurted out. I had to tell her the truth.

"What do you mean?"

"It all just started out as a joke, a way for me to...get off. Brandon, Spencer and I all created a Tinder profile for me as a gay guy and wondered if I could get someone to blow me. I got him as a match, and met up with him at a restaurant. I couldn't go through with it, and I left." She was nodding, listening to my words. "Then, after you cut me off I applied for any job I could. I came here for an interview and it was him. I couldn't find any other place that would hire me, and he did under the condition that I do what he wanted."

"So, he's been sexually assaulting you?" For some odd reason, I felt panic for Shawn's safety.

"No...I mean yes, but no."

"What? Spit it out. If he forcing you to do this or not?"

"At first, yes, but now...I don't think so. That moment you walked in on was the first time I let him."

"So you are gay?"

That statement took me off guard. I didn't think I was attracted to men, just Shawn, but I knew I was still attracted to women. "I...I think I'm bisexual." My mother took a dep breath, and nodded.

"Please, just be careful. Shawn is known to be a very...peculiar person." I nodded. My mother stepped forward and embraced me in her arms. I laid my head on her shoulder, and my father joined in on the hug.

"I love seeing my family as one. It's too rare a moment," my father stated. Inside my heart, I agreed with him. My family is very distant from each other emotionally.

My mother explained how she was happy I found someone who was dependable, unlike my previous affairs.

***

It was so confusing. I didn't think that I was attracted to men really, but then I thought about Shawn and my heart began to race. I told my mother I had a lot to think about, and she took her leave.

Then, I remembered what Shawn had asked me to do, and I made my way up to the tenth floor of the large building. The doors opened to reveal a grey painting on the wall. It was oddly soothing to be doing a task that had nothing to do with my own personal life. The letter was a heavy in my hands.

I walked off the elevator, passing the soothing grey painting with swirling patterns. I moved past the long set of fancy offices, each looking more gaudy than the last. I stopped at office 15D as Shawn asked, and knocked on the door.

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